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A few years ago, I came back on Spark People for what I thought was the last time, determined to stick with it. I was doing really well, but then I got in my own way again. It was very disheartening for me, and I became very depressed.

I realized for the first time, that I was the problem. I let my desire for junk food and my discomfort with change take over. I allowed myself to accept being fat. It was horrible. I was at a real low point in my life.

My best friend had had Gastric Bypass surgery the year before, and she had lost a ton of weight. I was happy for her and jealous all in the same blow. I had a really negative view of weight loss surgery for a long time because I felt like it was cheating. I know a lot of people feel this way as well. After a life time of struggling with my weight and failure, I had to ask myself some very hard questions.

Through much introspection and soul searching, along with a massive amount of research and therapy sessions, I decided to explore weight loss surgery.

It was not an easy decision for me. I still felt like I was cheating. When push came to shove however, I had to admit that what I really wanted was to be healthy, and I needed help to accomplish that. Weight loss surgery is not for everyone. It's a personal choice, and it is by no means an easy road. I understand now that you still must eat right and exercise to lose weight. The surgery is simply a tool to help you.

I understand that some people will not believe this and still think it's cheating, and that's okay. I don't blame them for thinking that. I did at one time too. For me, weight loss surgery was the right choice. For you, it may be something else.

It's been 4 years since my surgery. I lost 160 lbs. total, then put back on about 20. I am looking to lose that 20 pounds again and gain muscle. My goal is more to tone more than anything else.

Member Since: 6/12/2010

Fitness Minutes: 2,880

My Goals:
Stick with a regular exercise routine for at least 90 days.

My Program:
Yoga, dance, hiking, and strengthening challenges.

Personal Information:
I'm 36 and separated from my husband of 14 years. I have a 15-year-old son with my ex, who is the best part of my world. I work a lot at a job I love, and don't get out much unfortunately.

Other Information:

Read More About MISTRESSOFPROSE - Profile Information moved here. (Updated May 28)

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 current weight: 167.0 
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  • v CANDY1023
    3114 days ago
    The baby shower was so much fun! Thanks for asking. It was nice to see old friends. There was a lot of sugar around though, I tried really hard to keep myself from overeating.
    3116 days ago
    Hope you had a nice bide ride, and hope that you are doing well. emoticon
    3122 days ago
  • v SGIBONEY87
    Don't think about issues or negative things...life happens. You need to just work on you and what you can control...your eatting and exercise are the easiest things to control in our lives.

    It is awesome that you are starting out the year working on your health. You can and will do this.
    3134 days ago
    Your issues might not be your fault. Instead of blaming yourself, take action and find out more about your lab work. You said you have a thyroid issue and low Vit D ...that explains why you are tired. Have your B12 levels checked if your insurance covers it. Pain killers slow down the bowels and is not a good thing with a low thyroid....your pain in your back could be caused by that. What's important is that you are here, and you are doing something...you obviously haven't given up on yourself. Being accountable does not mean taking all the blame. emoticon And, if your bowels are slowing down it can cause yeast to build up inside of you and the yeast will want you to eat sugar and carbs. to feed itself.
    3136 days ago

    Comment edited on: 1/2/2012 11:45:02 AM
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