On the Road Again
Friday, April 03, 2009
This week, my husband and I are taking our little spring break vacation. We're going where we always go: Virginia. My aunt lives just outside of DC, and we like to spend time with her and go see all the FREE attractions in the city. DC is great!
But, at the same time, I'm dreading it a little. While my aunt is a wonderful, caring person who would do anything for me, she also makes me feel pretty terrible sometimes.
My aunt, you see, is a dietitian.
I spent my summers in Virginia with her and my grandfather (who passed away over Christmas). Since I was young, she's been on my case with eating less and exercising more. She always told me I was a big girl. I got comments from her and my grandfather about my weight. One day, I went to play in the sprinkler with the girl across the street. My grandfather said, "Be careful. A girl your size shouldn't be running around in this heat!"
I have a picture from that exact day. I don't look like a "big girl." I don't even look chubby! But that's been in my head since the day it happened. I still think everyone looks at me and sees a "big girl." In our drama ministry at church, I go out on stage to do a drama, and I assume everyone's looking at me saying, "There's that chubby girl again." No matter how many people reassure me that that's not what people see, it's what I see.
While I enjoy visiting with my aunt, I always worry how I'll feel when I leave. What will she say to make me feel bad about myself? How many times will she nag me about portions? How many times will she call my son "chubby" in a way that sounds like she thinks there's something wrong with him?
I just need your prayers for an enjoyable vacation. We'll be doing a lot of walking (I'll take my pedometer with me!), but I may not have many other opportunities to do the high-cardio exercising I've been doing. Just pray that I stay on track, don't let my aunt get to me, and don't let my hard work go to waste!