It has been a crazy last couple of weeks and I haven't been on my game with eating as I'd like to be. I am working on that!! I have gotten my steps in with no problem and my walking as well. But I haven't been getting the ST and Wii in for other exercise. So I am working on that too.
Part of my struggle has been so many Dr. appts and 8 therapies a week. I am so tired of all the appts. yet so thankful for them as they help the kids so much. I know it won't be forever, but sometimes I wish I just didn't have to go, go, go.
I have been working with my stress coach to work through all this and she is very helpful, but it doesn't change my schedule.
I have been in such a transitional phase and kind of stuck! LOST! I needed something.
Finally after several weeks of talking with this wonderful helper she finally just said, "Cathy I know your family is important as they should be, but when do I get to hear about what Cathy wants?"
Wow, that was such an amazing statement and I thought the same thing too! What do I do for me? I know what I like, but never feel like I have the time! I thought working on my health was for me, and it is, but as my wonderful Stress Coach Denise said, "But what are you doing for FUN?!!"
Wow, another one of those great thoughts that I have been thinking on for awhile! Getting and staying healthy is very good and I love working out, but it isn't "recreation." It de-stresses me, gives me energy, but it doesn't "fulfill me." And think about that word...RE-CREATION. to recreate or re-create is what I need for a better and new me. Those activities fill us up and rebuild or energy, our attitude, our spirit.
For awhile I have needed a purpose. A purpose beyond my children. I love them and am very blessed to by them. But having something that was mine...a regenerating, fill up your tank kind of enjoyment was different. I needed and wanted it badly. For awhile I felt guilty wanting something for me, time for me, a purpose for me.
Many of you know of my desire to bring the donated ponies to our home to help our kids and the community. It has been such a huge pressure to my husband and I to try to make this happen. Preparing the land and then a very, very costly permit to allow the ponies to be here was just seeming so impossible. And even if we spent the money on the application we wouldn't necessarily get approval and would lose the money as well. The cost of keeping ponies was huge and seemed so out of the picture for us, but we were trying to trust. Due to a lot of recent situations with the ponies and other issues we decided it was time to shelf the idea at least for now. We didn't close the door on this dream, just left it "against the jam."
So what to do to have fun and purpose? Something I have wanted to do for probably 25 years! Therapy dog work. You need a special type of dog (personality and temperament) and someone who isn't afraid to work (that be me!) I discussed all this with my hubby, Randy and my son Ian who is crazy for animals. They were relieved that the pony dream would be put on "wait"! Phew! And they totally wanted in on the Therapy Dog idea! Phew and Wow!! i was shocked!!
So we started looking into breeds that were in my fave list that also were very good as therapy dogs. We wanted to find an affordable but really good quality dog. They were all in the Herding Group, which I love. So I looked into Bernese Mtn. dog...too big, too costly; then a possibility of a German Shepherd...BIG and conditions and costly and more; okay, back to my comfort zone...we already had Shelties, but I always wanted a Border Collie...so again I went online and something about one particular breeder really struck me.
She and her family including father and grandfather farmed with sheep, goats and bred Border Collies. She has been a very caring responsible breeder for many years. She cares about her dogs and the condition and health of the breed. She breeds to keep that herding instinct intact! Ever see a Border Collie working? It's amazing!!
We emailed back and forth and really connected. The whole family went out to the farm to see her and her Border Collies this past weekend. She had several puppies to choose from, but did things differently than any breeder I've ever met. She wanted to fit the personalities, temperament and what we would use the dog for over what color we wanted. Another thumbs up!
The farm was amazing, the breeder even more amazing and the puppies...yeah, even more amazing! We met the parents and grandparents of these pups. All amazing!! Randy was amazed at how beautiful the dogs were and how well mannered and playful they were as well. He played "fetch" Border Collie style with the dad of the litter.
In the end, we brought home two pups, a boy and a girl who are so beautiful and sweet and smart. The male is huge and looks like his name...Grizzly Bear! The sweet little girl is yet to be named. We just haven't found the right name for her...
Okay, so now you know why I've been so busy. And I wouldn't have posted all this without a "purpose." But it all links together as this was no quick and easy journey. It evolved for YEARS! Kind of like me...evolving for many years into who I am today.
I am a different person today than i was even last week. I feel content and complete. I have purpose and I feel so energized to care for my family and dogs, where as before I was tired and just out of energy and drive.
I am walking a lot! I get all my steps in everyday! I get a lot of exercise and fulfillment! And though the puppies add work, it is what I love to do and work has never scared nor bothered me. I am ready!
And to FINALLY end...you know what happened with all this? The burden is gone! I have something for ME! And I have gotten back on track with my eating and exercise! It is all falling into place! It isn't that it's all easy, but I am having fun and taking care of me!
Thanks for reading my blog!! It's been awhile! This is a really big event for me...taking care of me and doing something I have always wanted to do...and for those of you who know about my Gracie...she loves the puppies and is sharing her soccer ball with them!! That's huge!
So, take a risk...do something for you! Something fun! Something new! you won't be disappointed and it will help you focus as it has helped me to focus and regain my journey to a healthy life. I am ready!!
Hugs to everyone!! Cathy