Making a change and proving it to myself...

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

So, the other day I realized that I had finally gotten to 30 lbs lost! It’s finally happening! I had always been the one to tell myself that I needed to loose weight. Years of thinking I was ok the way I was. I hadn’t and still don’t have any health issues and always found a way to make my self feel cute and never had a problem finding a partner so, I never really took it seriously.

However a few months ago, I really started to notice my waist disappearing into an ocean of rolls, eww! It was getting harder and harder to convince my self that I was attractive to myself. I had lost my femininity. Again though, why start another diet that would last a month and then gain it back twice as bad? Not a good idea. But a couple months ago, I had an epiphany, my high school reunion in two years! And my little voice inside was saying, “Man, I really want to go” while at the same time the other one is telling me how fat and disgusting I was. There was no way to avoid that, unless of course I just didn’t go altogether. But then I said “No, way!” I can’t allow the fat to dictate my life, how many other countless times have I allowed it to rule my life. And that is when it happened. I told myself that I would never stop myself from doing anything because of my weight and the weight had to go! Pack it up and get the Frak out!

I’ve lost 30 lbs so far, and I attribute to a change of attitude, a realization that this is it and the time is now to make the change that will give me a new chance to live my life. Excess weight for many of us is like a giant shackle that affects even the smallest decision. I don’t think I’ve ever admitted this, but the true reason I think I dropped out of college was because it was easier than to walk around campus out of breath and find a seat that was too small or sit in front of someone and know they were looking at a fat back. So with that said…

I’m really happy to have finally found the “spark” and I’ve proven to myself that I am really doing this and will make it through. Last night as a matter of fact I went over to my mother-in-laws house. They had skirt steak and loaded mashed potatoes along with other tempting little nuggets and she looked and me and said, “I don’t know what you are going to eat…” Very nice of here I might add, she knows I have dramatically changed my eating habits, and I lifted up my bag and said, “Don’t worry, I brought my food!” So, Kudos to me, I brought my grilled King clip fish and asparagus and ate with them at the table! Something I would have never done on a past yo-yo diet! Here is to breaking free from the shackles! Cheers!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Wow - great job! Both for packing your own food and for your great weight loss so far. (Of course, it would be nice if your MIL would make something better for you and the family, but ... baby steps!)
    4179 days ago
  • NABOO325
    Thanks guys! I always have a million things in my head and had never thought of posting! I defintely will more often! emoticon
    4180 days ago
    Wow! Great job packing your own food with you! That is definitely the kind of commitment to yourself you need for long term success.

    Congratulations on losing 30 pounds. Your blog posting is great, you should do it more often.

    4180 days ago
  • MHINTZ0929
    You're doing a terrific job, and you have the right attitude. Keep up the great work! And congratulations on your first blog entry!
    4180 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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