MELSCAN

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Losing weight and the release of emotions

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

So this week has been a big one in relation to me figuring out some things, (i.e. growth)

It started with me reading this book called Raw Emotions. It's about a woman (Angela Stokes) who lost 160 pounds by changing how she ate. But the majority of the book deals with our emotions around eating, and food. And she talked about how when you start eating healthier (she went raw vegan..eating fruit, vegetables, nuts and seeds, etc) you detox. And the concept was when you've spent your life eating foods that have no nutrional value, and then you start giving your body high quality nutrients, then your cells start to detox all of the crap you've spent the last x amt of years putting in it.

And let me tell you...I've been dealing with that. And it's not just the detox that hit me so hard this week. It's the "emotional" detox I've been dealing with. Because when it comes right down to it, we numb ourselves with food. We eat when we're sad, when we're upset, even when we are joyful, or celebrating. And there are certain foods that honestly "numb" you out. LIke bread. Think about how lethargic and laid back you feel, as well as happy, sometimes tired. It numbs you out. Well eating raw doesn't numb you out. I've gone to 50% raw, and the one thing I've noticed is that I'm dealing with all of these emotions, that normally would have been smothered by food.
And there is this huge emotional connection with food that Im finally starting to "get". Suffice it to say that I've had life altering moments this week.
One in particular was a doozy. When I was in my early twenties, (and felt the most beautiful) I was drugged and raped. And it was an experience I wouldn't wish on my biggest enemy (not that i have one lol) And because he sought me out..I equated that feeling of beauty with not feeling salfe. So I made myself safe..by surrounding myself with a layer of fat that would make me invisible. And it dawned on me that even though I had wanted to lose the weight, deep down? It made me a panicked mess. It made me feel unsafe, and it was a very scary thought, that if I did lose the weight, that something like that would happen to me again. And it hit me that I wasn't losing the weight because I "couldn't"...I wasn't losing the weight because deep down I really didn't "want" to lose the weight. And when I really put those two togehter, I was a crying heaping mess. And all I can say is thank god for friends..for really amazing friends who know when to pull you out of the dark tunnel into the light.
And the crazy thing is I'm not scared anymore. And Im realizing that I need to make some changes in regards to how I feel about food. Some of the quotes from this book were amazing..so I'd like to share a couple.
"The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine, or the slowest form of poison." Dr. Ann Wigmore
"Feeling persistently uncomfortable is not a logical pathway to vibrant, sustainable health".
"When my inside looked at your outside, I overate."

I'm only on page 50 something of this book..and I've already had these eye opening moments. But yeah..it's brilliant.

So that's it for me..oh, the funny thing. I've lost three pounds this week! JUST by changing what I ate..I haven't worked out this week because I've been studying for my final...

Mel
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MUSICLVR2675
    Food, nutrition, is 80% of the results! Always remember that! It gets me through a lot. I don't workout like I should but because I can control my eating I am able to maintain the number on the scale. My body isn't shaped the way I want it to be and that's where working out will fit in for me. But yes, you can lose the size and decrease the number on the scale just by adjusting your eating, Absolutely!

    Sorry to hear about your horrible experience but glad you're able to see beyond that and move forward for a successful YOU! :) That's strength and that's beautiful!
    3802 days ago
  • MELSCAN
    Thanks, all of you, for the hugs, the thanks, well..just everything. :O)

    Ahealthierme-I'm glad I inspired you! Isn't that why we are all here, though? To learn and grow, etc etc..I know it's been one heck of a journey for me since I joined spark and it's ridiculous that I've only been a member for what, two months this time around? lol

    Floridasun..I am very sorry you lost your son emoticon I'd take what I went through any day over that. :O( Good news is I'm with a really sweet man now..he actually chased the guy that did this to me out of HEB scaring the bejesus out of him..I never saw that jerk after that. LOL emoticon

    Thanks for sharing the journey with me you all..it doesn't seem as unattainable :O)
    3810 days ago
  • FLORIDASUN
    What a fabulous blog! It's so true...we do put on armor (fat layers) to protect ourselves don't we? I'm so happy that you came across this book that is helping you sort through some painful horrible memories and that you won't allow them to be locked into the toxic fat that we sometimes protect ourselves with. Your honesty rings so true to me and I know that the world that we live in (especially our beautiful young adults) is a difficult one. Having lost my own beautiful young adult son my mother's heart hurts for the pain you were subjected to. It's hard to ever trust someone again after an experience so horrifying.

    I'm so happy that you are no longer living in fear. I have found that our focus is our reality and that was an eye opener for me. I'm trying my best to focus on the best and highest good for myself and all of my adorable sparkling friends...I'll be rooting for you along the way! Hugs, hugs and more hugs! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3810 days ago
  • CURVYDIVA86
    Wow, I'm so sorry that happened to you. I can only imagine the mental and physical effects of that kind of traumatic experience, but it seems as if you are now at the point of making some realizations and moving forward. I'm glad that that book has enabled this epiphany for you! Thank you for opening up to us like this. emoticon
    3810 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/11/2010 1:14:40 PM
  • MOMM4LIFE
    Thank you for sharing. Very eye opening.
    3810 days ago
  • AHEALTHIERME9
    WOW... this is indeed a very powerful blog, Mel... and I applaud you for being so open, honest, and courageous... You just totally inspired me and gave me food for thought... (pun intended).

    I'm really glad that you are making the connections that you are making. And I, too, have experienced a lot of emotional releases since joining SP... I knew it was because I was releasing things along the journey, but I like this scientific explanation of releasing all the toxins and emotional junk.

    Thanks for sharing your story. You are indeed very brave and definitely a fierce, fabulous and unstoppable warrior! :)

    emoticon
    3810 days ago
  • PLYNNWEEKS
    Mel-

    This is a very powerful blog and I thank you for sharing it with all of us. I definitely believe that comfort eating numbs us to things we can't or won't face at the time. I'm glad you starting to come into the light and are not scared anymore. My wish for you is to become the happy and healthy woman that you deserve to be. Keep looking forward to your goal.

    Pam emoticon
    3810 days ago
  • no profile photo SHIPMANWHITNEY1
    Really enjoyed reading this. Our emotions are connected to what we eat alot of the time and it's so easy to reach for that unhealthy snack to help deal with that emotion. We just have to learn instead to eat a healthy one perhaps. Keep up the good work!
    3810 days ago
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