Losing weight and the release of emotions
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
So this week has been a big one in relation to me figuring out some things, (i.e. growth)
It started with me reading this book called Raw Emotions. It's about a woman (Angela Stokes) who lost 160 pounds by changing how she ate. But the majority of the book deals with our emotions around eating, and food. And she talked about how when you start eating healthier (she went raw vegan..eating fruit, vegetables, nuts and seeds, etc) you detox. And the concept was when you've spent your life eating foods that have no nutrional value, and then you start giving your body high quality nutrients, then your cells start to detox all of the crap you've spent the last x amt of years putting in it.
And let me tell you...I've been dealing with that. And it's not just the detox that hit me so hard this week. It's the "emotional" detox I've been dealing with. Because when it comes right down to it, we numb ourselves with food. We eat when we're sad, when we're upset, even when we are joyful, or celebrating. And there are certain foods that honestly "numb" you out. LIke bread. Think about how lethargic and laid back you feel, as well as happy, sometimes tired. It numbs you out. Well eating raw doesn't numb you out. I've gone to 50% raw, and the one thing I've noticed is that I'm dealing with all of these emotions, that normally would have been smothered by food.
And there is this huge emotional connection with food that Im finally starting to "get". Suffice it to say that I've had life altering moments this week.
One in particular was a doozy. When I was in my early twenties, (and felt the most beautiful) I was drugged and raped. And it was an experience I wouldn't wish on my biggest enemy (not that i have one lol) And because he sought me out..I equated that feeling of beauty with not feeling salfe. So I made myself safe..by surrounding myself with a layer of fat that would make me invisible. And it dawned on me that even though I had wanted to lose the weight, deep down? It made me a panicked mess. It made me feel unsafe, and it was a very scary thought, that if I did lose the weight, that something like that would happen to me again. And it hit me that I wasn't losing the weight because I "couldn't"...I wasn't losing the weight because deep down I really didn't "want" to lose the weight. And when I really put those two togehter, I was a crying heaping mess. And all I can say is thank god for friends..for really amazing friends who know when to pull you out of the dark tunnel into the light.
And the crazy thing is I'm not scared anymore. And Im realizing that I need to make some changes in regards to how I feel about food. Some of the quotes from this book were amazing..so I'd like to share a couple.
"The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful form of medicine, or the slowest form of poison." Dr. Ann Wigmore
"Feeling persistently uncomfortable is not a logical pathway to vibrant, sustainable health".
"When my inside looked at your outside, I overate."
I'm only on page 50 something of this book..and I've already had these eye opening moments. But yeah..it's brilliant.
So that's it for me..oh, the funny thing. I've lost three pounds this week! JUST by changing what I ate..I haven't worked out this week because I've been studying for my final...