I have cancer... at the moment if feels like it has me.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
This has been a big year. I ran my first 5k. I took part in two triathlons. I turned 50. And now, this past Monday, I was diagnosed with cancer.
I have colorectal cancer. I have none of the risk factors. I have no symptoms. I was just having a now-you're-50 screening.
If it weren't for SparkPeople I probably wouldn't have had a screening colonoscopy. My health just never mattered all that much until the last couple years. I have never been a big consumer of modern medicine but if I am going to lift weights, run, and eat right I might as well jump through all the diagnostic hoops. Right?
According to the doctor, it is curable but I am going to have a very tough 6 months ahead of me. Chemo, radiation, and then a pretty radical surgery.
I am stunned. I haven't really cried. I am so worried about my husband and my daughters. It is so soul crushing to see the looks on my friends faces.
I can barely talk about it. I am forcing myself to write this. I don't want all the fear to coil up inside of me. I know I will get through this. I know I will come out stronger and clearer and more Maud than ever before.
I'm just a little scared right now.