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I have cancer... at the moment if feels like it has me.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

This has been a big year. I ran my first 5k. I took part in two triathlons. I turned 50. And now, this past Monday, I was diagnosed with cancer.

I have colorectal cancer. I have none of the risk factors. I have no symptoms. I was just having a now-you're-50 screening.

If it weren't for SparkPeople I probably wouldn't have had a screening colonoscopy. My health just never mattered all that much until the last couple years. I have never been a big consumer of modern medicine but if I am going to lift weights, run, and eat right I might as well jump through all the diagnostic hoops. Right?

According to the doctor, it is curable but I am going to have a very tough 6 months ahead of me. Chemo, radiation, and then a pretty radical surgery.

I am stunned. I haven't really cried. I am so worried about my husband and my daughters. It is so soul crushing to see the looks on my friends faces.

I can barely talk about it. I am forcing myself to write this. I don't want all the fear to coil up inside of me. I know I will get through this. I know I will come out stronger and clearer and more Maud than ever before.

I'm just a little scared right now.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    As you can see, you're not alone. I think it's safe to say that nearly all of your Spark Friends have loved ones of friends who have or have had cancer and are working through surgeries, chemo, radiation, and the side effects. It's no picnic, but Maud, you have family and friends who love you and will support you unconditionally through this tough, tough time. Lean on everyone. It's perfectly alright.

    I'm sending you huge hugs.

    3119 days ago
    i am so incredibly sorry to hear this, my heart goes out to you and your family. there is a reason you sparked your life, and it was so you could catch this early and be in the best physical shape possible to get through this...you already have part of this battle won with your own strength and determination. i am beaming strength and love your way. also, i will be your FREE personal hat maker whenever you need them!! it is a small token, but you have inspired so many of us and i would like to be able to do this for you. please msg me with your favourite colours and address anytime you feel up to it. love you girl.
    3119 days ago
    So sorry you got such news, at the same time so glad you got the test. I am sure it is scary, and I always have trouble with all the invasiveness of medical procedures. Glad you are facing this in good health and with the support of your family.
    3119 days ago
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    3120 days ago
    6 months!? you ran a 5k You got this!!! Sending prayers emoticon
    3120 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5128667
    3120 days ago
    You are the reason Katie Couric had a colonoscopy on national TV: get tested! You may have a tough 6 months, but you will have a long full life afterwards.

    I'm sorry this happened to you, but I am very glad you found out in time to get it taken care of.
    3120 days ago
    Thank you so much for sharing this! I've been putting off getting some troubling symptoms checked out - but you've prompted me to go ahead and make an appointment. I just did. I'm so glad that you've caught it at the optimal time!! Hugs and prayers to you and your family.

    3120 days ago
    Very glad that you got the screening and found this. Remember this was caught early enough, before symptoms! It would be much worse if you have not had the screening. Keep going along, you'll get thru this and it will strengthen you!
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    3120 days ago
  • DIANE7786
    emoticon It's normal to be scared. Trust your doctor when he/she says it's curable. I was diagnosed with breast cancer i n 2011. It was shocking. Just as shocking were the huge number of patients at the treatment center who look very healthy, including the colon cancer patients. Some people continued working. Yes, some continued running! Attitude is everything. Those who take control instead of letting themselves feel like victims seem to do better. Your doctor said you will have a rough six months. Consider that's not much time over a lifetime, especially when it means a longer lifetime. When I started treatment people told me it would be one of the best experiences of my life. It was true. This time next year you will also know that it's true!

    3120 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/27/2012 11:03:18 AM
  • BILL60
    Very sorry to hear about your ordeal. But you know what? Life must continue. You have to enjoy life more now than ever. No sulking allowed. Just go out and have an incredible time. I recently heard about a triathlete who, in the middle of her preparation for the Kona Triathlon, was diagnosed with cancer. You know what.....she continued training and finished her triathlon. Hang tough and remember that many of us in SP will be praying that you're enjoying life to its fullest.
    3120 days ago
  • STACYR31
    How terrible for you and your family. I am so glad that you decided to go through with that screening. You are right that in the end you will come out stronger. emoticon
    3120 days ago
  • JSMC10
    So glad it was caught! You're strong, these next few months won't have anything on you :)
    3120 days ago
    Oh Maud!! I'm so sorry to hear this, yet I am very glad the cancer was detected now instead of later one when symptoms may have set in.
    You can do anything for 6 months though, right? You trained for more than that for your race and it flew by quickly. Imagine all the sweaters you could knit in 6 months.
    I'm sure you are scared. Who wouldn't be? And you're lucky that screening is so readily available. I have not had a colonoscopy. The medical system here is different. When you are 50 you aren't automatically given one. You are asked to do a blood-occult test and if there is blood in the stool THEN you get a colonoscopy.
    I'm sure you will get thru this. You are built of tough stuff and you have a lot of love surrounding you at home and from afar.
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    3120 days ago
  • no profile photo CD11405105
    So glad you went to get that screening. Sounds like you caught it early, so you can look forward to a positive outcome. Praying healing prayers for you and your family.
    3120 days ago
  • no profile photo CD13012141
    emoticon I'll agree, it isn't a great way to be celebrating turning "50" but kudos to you for going for that all important check up and them catching it early!!!

    While I don't have cancer, I have been living it with my older sister (my best friend) who like you, just turned 50 and was diagnosed with NHL. Her's has now morphed into HL and so we are currently battling round two!

    I wish you much positive energy and inner strength to carry you through your journey... i have no doubt you will come out of it a much stronger woman than you were going in!

    Take care... and allow others to help you along the way emoticon


    3120 days ago
    Thinking of you in this difficult time.

    At least, they found it early which means you have a better chance!

    Most people who feel great and turn 50 do not have a checkup!!

    3120 days ago
  • LAC936
    This is no way to celebrate turning 50. Thank God you're in a day and age when they have treatments that are effective and you can live a normal life after treatment. I pray this ordeal will pass quickly so you can get back to your active life!
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    3120 days ago
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