Monday, September 23, 2013
This has been the worst summer of my life. Dramatic, but true statement.
I got a job, after many doubts and fears. And I liked it a lot!
I had a very ugly episode with a member of a family. Has me shaken ever since.
Then my father started getting sick and after a morning spent in the ER, for which I called to let the boss know I may not be able to show up - the trouble at work started. They let me know the position I liked was no longer mine and I had two weeks to prove myself at another position, or I get fired.
After many, many tears, I decided to accept my Dr's offer and so... I have been on a sick leave all summer.
My dad had many episodes and relapses, and it all got me to a point where I thought I was going insane.
Through all this, I have gained 15kg and lost all hope of getting better :(
I am now awaiting for my father's return from the hospital. I am working on final papers for the sick leave, and after that, back to being unemployed I go. I had to secure a hospital bed at home, have ordered and have to pay for the bed railing, because I live alone with my dad and at times I have to leave the house, I will have to have the rails up and dad secured, so he doesn't fall off the bed :(
I am not ready to commit to being a full time caregiver for my parent, yet again! I did it for 6 years with my mom and I know how hard it is.
I had started working out in June, but that was over real fast.
I have only a hope left, that somehow, someday, I will get a break from all the rotten luck and be able to care for myself...
I think of my old spark friends often and wish I could be part of the spark again...
For now, I just really am desperately trying to not cry and go insane