Wave of Worry

Monday, October 21, 2013

Well, now that the easy part of conceiving is over, now begins the wonderful wave of worry. emoticon I imagine every new mother is worried to some extent during their pregnancy, but I think it is definitely multiplied when you've had a pregnancy loss.

I called my Ob/Gyn today to notify them. They set up my first two appointments (Mid November and Mid December). They also wanted me to come in today (and on Wednesday) to draw my blood. This is a new step from the last time I was pregnant. Apparently, they want to monitor my HCG/Progesterone levels. I suppose it would give them an earlier indication of issues earlier on, however, I don't see how it would change the result of the pregnancy either way.

I'm happy, I'm excited, but I'm also very very leary. This time I don't automatically assume I'll end up with a baby in 9 months because I know all too well that pregnancy doesn't automatically = having a baby in your arms. I feel like I'm holding my breath until the 1st trimester is over (miscarriage chances greatly decrease at that point). However, I know I'll be a stressful basket case the whole time. I keep trying to tell myself not to think about it - easier said than done.

As I told my husband, I'm not worried about things I can control. I can eat healthy, exercise, read pregnancy books/articles/magazines, adjust my lifestyle, and research my butt off. If the doctor told me I had 9 months bedrest I'd do it without complaint. The issues that worry me are the things I CAN'T control... because.... well, I can't control them. I can only do everything within MY power whereas everything else is up to God.

One issue with reading books/articles/magazines and researching is that I get to learn about the million and one ways your pregnancy can go wrong. Not exactly the kind of information I need running amok in my head.

I know SparkPeople have a baby website, but I like the people here too much to leave. Besides, pregnancy is temporary, and a lifestyle change is permanent (aka. SparkPeople). I will adjust my calories and exercise accordingly, but I'm sticking right here. I realize I will be doing the opposite of most Spark Members (aka. gaining weight), but I hope to accomplish it in a healthy steady way throughout pregnancy. I want to manage my weight gain (wow, that sounds like an oxymoron). I know I need to gain adequate weight to make a baby grow, but I also don't want to go overboard. How many pounds I gain will eventually be pounds I'll have to lose.

emoticon Pregnancy Symptoms Thus Far:
-Aches in my ligaments (or something) connecting my legs to my torso
-Boobs are already becoming more VA-VA-VOOM
-Vivid Dreams
-Mild Night Sweats - blah
-Tummy feels like it is stretching on the sides between my hips and my ribs
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