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My final dad update

Thursday, June 04, 2015

It has taken me two days to be able to blog this -- my apologies -- so here goes:

My dad passed away early Tuesday morning, June 2. While I am sad to see him go, I am very relieved that he is out of his pain and back with my mom, which I really think he wanted all along.

He'll be cremated in the next day or so, and at some future date, we'll a private family memorial at a location yet to be determined (kicking around a number of ideas).

As I have been thinking about what to say here, I recalled one of my favorite and touching moment in a move. This exchange in Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan between Admiral Kirk and his son David always leaves me with a lump in my throat. I think my dad and I were a little closer than Kirk and David were, still this exchange really means a lot to me:

"David Marcus: Lieutenant Saavik was right: You never have faced death.

Kirk: No. Not like this. I haven't faced death. I've cheated death. I've tricked my way out of death and patted myself on the back for my ingenuity. I know nothing.

David Marcus: You knew enough to tell Saavik that how we face death is at least as important as how we face life.

Kirk: Just words.

David Marcus: But good words. That's where ideas begin. Maybe you should listen to them. I was wrong about you. And I'm sorry.

Kirk: Is that what you came here to say?

David Marcus: Mainly. And also that I'm proud - very proud - to be your son. "

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  • IAMBLESSED103
    I'm so sorry to hear this... my sincere condolences on the loss of your father. I lost my Dad when I was young (and he was only 49) and lost my Mom a few years ago. I wish you and your family God's peace and comfort. emoticon emoticon Karen
    2099 days ago
  • IUHRYTR
    Dear Patrick,

    I am sorry for your loss. It is never easy saying goodbye to someone we love, especially when it is one of our parents. Having lost my dad suddenly when he was only 48 years old was one of the saddest times of my life but he instilled in me courtesy, respect, and so many other aspects of life that have made me who I am today.

    I sense from the time we've known each other that your father was like that. I'm sure you have many, many happy memories of the fun times you two had together. Focus on those during sad times. You are a respectful person and a loving husband, both proud reflections of your dad. emoticon -- Lou
    2099 days ago
  • no profile photo CD11085420
    My condolences, Patrick. May you have peace, and remember the good times most of all... emoticon
    2099 days ago
  • LIFEFOUNDONARUN
    My condolences to you. Sending lots of thoughts and prayers to you and your family at this time.
    2101 days ago
  • GETSTRONGRRR
    Very sorry for your loss....hoping that you and your family find some peace in this time of grief
    2101 days ago
  • BBECKER1955
    Our condolences and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. Sounds like your dad left you with a great legacy.
    2102 days ago
  • SRWYLIE
    Patrick.... I'm so sorry. I'm grateful that your dad didn't suffer for along time, and from your previous blog posts, it sounds as if he was ready to go. And truthfully isn't that how we would all like to pass on? Quickly, easily, with as little burden on others as possible? The Star Trek quote is a perfect testament of how you loved each other and respected each other. I have no doubt that he was as proud to have you for a son as you were to have him for a father. I hope your family memorial is full of joyful memories and lots of laughter. I bet that's that he would have wanted.

    I'm flying to Michigan next month to help celebrate my uncle s (dad's brother's) life after his death in January. It will be bittersweet, because I admired him so. But I am also singing a song that means a lot to both of us, and that will be my testament to his life and legacy. I will say a special prayer for your dad as I'm singing for Uncle Don.

    Prayers and blessings for you and your family. The fact that your mom and dad are back together again should give you peace.
    emoticon
    2102 days ago
  • TERI-RIFIC
    I'm so sorry for your loss. It's nice that you had a great Dad to be proud to be his son and I'm sure he was proud of you.
    2102 days ago
  • 1DAY-ATA-TIME
    My condolences to you and your family.
    2102 days ago
  • MOBYCARP
    My condolences to you.

    It is understandable and natural that the online communication may not be terribly prompt for news like this. First, you need to take care of your real life family and your own emotions. Letting us know can wait for when you have your life and emotions under control. Two days isn't bad at all.

    Losing a parent is never easy, and I think it's harder to lose the second parent. Be sure you're taking care of yourself as you get used to the idea of being part of the oldest generation of your family.
    2102 days ago
  • GEORGE815
    Sorry to hear this Pat. I knew you Dad was in poor health. This is a surprise. Condolences and prayers are with you.
    My Mom lived is Arizona, and passed over the Memorial Day weekend. Dad also passed down there about 4 years ago.
    They mentored me to what I am today. What a loss. Thanks for sharing this sad news. Puts life in a different context doesn't.
    2102 days ago
  • EVIE4NOW
    My sympathies on your loss. It's never easy to lose a parent.
    2102 days ago
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