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8/25/16--Update and A Strong-Willed Child (or 2)

Friday, August 26, 2016

I had an optometrist check my eyes Tuesday, and the left eye has changed quite a bit on one measure. Why it was fine until the lens popped out is a mystery that may never be solved. I paid for the exam and then went to get prices (around $400). Ugh. And I can't wait until January. So we've been looking at the zenni optical website, and we think I can get what I need plus some clip-on shades for $80. Crazy! I'm afraid my prescription is too complicated and strong and my sensitivity is too strong, too, but it's probably worth it to try. They have good reviews and my SIL has been happy with many, many that she's bought from them. You can try the frames on a pic of yourself, too. So that's on the list of to dos. It will be SO nice to get that fixed!

My children are strong-willed young men. They are different levels of obedient at different times, but they definitely know their own minds and can usually communicate those things. One of them is really having trouble stopping himself when the time for discussion is over. I have been trying to get him to see that he can't just keep pushing people to agree with him, whether it's believing what he says or his motives, or what happened, or what he was thinking, etc. He tries to convince us of various things and then gets upset and pushes harder and harder, even when he knows what he's trying to convince us of is wrong. He keeps asking the same question after it's been answered and acts like he doesn't understand the answer when I know he does. He deliberately misunderstands, too. I mean, why is it fun to aggravate people to this extent? It's like it causes him incredible psychic pain to be disbelieved or wrong. This has caused many arguments bc we parents want him to know he's not convincing anyone with his arguments, etc., and with his brother for not letting anything drop when he should. We've talked about it several times, and sometimes he gets regretful, but mostly he just keeps pushing. As he gets older, I'm afraid people aren't going to put up with it and will punch him in the face or charge him for resisting arrest or something. He's not going to have any credibility, either. His teachers seem to handle his "persistence" and false misunderstanding, so I know it's possible. I know my showing emotion and getting upset and sarcastic isn't helping. And I hate that he hurts when he is regretful. I just want to help him understand. I have a few new tactics to try and some new listening and discipline to try. Anyway, it's been heavy on my mind tonight and wanted to get it out on paper.... I need ways to help him save face so he can get out of these situations sooner and ways to control his temper when he does get in trouble for not stopping after being warned.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    1484 days ago
    It's really tough to get through to children sometimes. I hope you're able to get through to him in the best way possible, but for now be confident that you're doing your best with it. You're a loving and good mom to your boys and I'm sure they know that in their hearts no matter what.

    Glad you got your eyes checked out and hope the glasses work that are less expensive! That would be great and you're right, is definitely worth a try.
    1484 days ago
    Glad you went to the eye doctor. Good luck with the glasses,

    Your son....have you read James Dobson's book 'the strong willed child'? There maybe some helpful hits in there.
    1484 days ago
    Praying the new glasses fix your eye problems.

    Oh DS would try every which way to 'win' a situation that we were discussing and if one tactic didn't work he'd come back with another. Kids have so much to learn as they grow up and try to navigate their world. Glad to hear you are doing what you can to teach him how to handle his strong willed mind.
    1484 days ago
    My oldest is the same way with needing to dominate a conversation. We laugh because if we happen to interrupt him, he'll pick right back up where we stopped him. (I still compare him to Sheldon from "Big Bang Theory" because of that). I hope that your plan works. If so, let me know!
    1484 days ago
    You've got a full plate.
    1484 days ago
    Oh the joys of motherhood! Keep strong! I don't have the answers or ideas for you. I had three willful children which was both a blessing and a curse- LOL. We had the attitude that is was freedom with responsibility, and had guidelines that were acceptable. Good grades, clean rooms, etc. They had a lot of leeway, and arguments ( discussions) were always held at the table. My extremely argumentative one has her own business, 5 wonderful children and hasn't been punched out yet- LOL. In the meantime, keep your sense of humor and I will lift you up in my prayers. emoticon
    1485 days ago
  • ZRIE014
    have a nice day.
    1485 days ago
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