Where I am today

Where I am today. NOT feeling hopeless, but at the moment, honestly - immobile. I am going to work on my health and weight again - soon - not at this moment. Then again, writing about it IS working on it.

I managed to not get laid off last December, (the end of Medicare open enrollment, seasonal position), so I never got a spring reprieve to shed the winter pounds, brought on from constant sitting & no time to think or move, plus the holidays. Had things going on over the summer - house rennovations...and work. Along about August I hit high gear. Joined a gym. Had a trainer tell me I'd basically have to do high protein, low carb if I wanted to lose weight, so I tried that out. THEN I read in 10 different places that High Protein for middle aged folks is NOT HEALTHY. Raised your chances of cancer at least 40%. Ok. So I went back to eating more balanced & cutting back on SALT which stays entirely out of hand for me. Somewhere in there I had a mini-vacation that took me weeks to get back on track from.

Now this past weekend, I lost my precious Bossy Boo - the big brown loveable goofy lug of a pit bull. Ellabelle's other half. The cancer that he had survived for 4 long years with no snags, must have hit his spleen, like the vet said it might, and he went down very quickly Saturday, & we helped him on his journey very late that night. So. I'm being patient with myself. I'm not eating everything in sight, but have allowed a few endulgences. I've managed to get out and walk a little here & there, but not a lot. We took Ella out to walk last night & discovered that as I feared, she has already started regressing - she doesn't want to walk out ahead like she did when Bossy was there to make her feel brave. Not getting another dog for a little while - trying to respect my husband's wishes this time - unlike last time we lost our dogs.

Our "season" starts next week now. My time to take massive action on my weight is on hold. I looked at last years records & I wasn't even hitting 3000 steps a lot of days. No time to walk on breaks - it's eat FAST, potty, get your water or whatever, & get back on the phone.

Possibly looking at another small oral surgery, after which I won't be able to strain with resistance training for awhile either - have too take that part easy.

So today I'm just sitting at work. Immobile. I still care, but don't feel like I can do a lot to make a lot of difference at this time. So just sitting here for now. Feeling kind of flat. And immobile. Stuck? maybe. Doesn't help that all that work I put in in Aug got me nowhere to speak of. Barely lost anything & then gained it back. Sigh. trying to think of what would actually WORK (make any difference).