A Letter to Myself
Monday, June 12, 2017
This is for me. I need to hear it.
You are using food to feel better. You are using food to ignore what's really wrong. You are using food to relieve stress. You get into arguments with yourself in the hopes that you will talk yourself into what you want. You have so many excuses that it's getting annoying:
"but I had a hard day"
"I'm too tired to cook anything"
"I deserve a treat"
"it's part of being a normal person"
"everyone eats this way sometimes"
"tomorrow I'll eat at home"
"I'm going to make a grocery list this weekend"
"my mother was fat, my grandmother was fat, my aunts are fat, my sisters are fat, so it's not my fault and there's nothing I can do about it"
You know what? You've had it. You're sick of living like this just because you have moments when you feel sorry for yourself. Let me tell you something: everyone has hard days, everyone has challenges, everyone has a choice.
You are the only one in charge of you. You can't control a lot of things, but you can control what and when you eat, how and when you exercise, and how you react to the world around you. You are the star of your own story, so stop acting like a pathetic extra hanging out off set waiting for someone else to tell you what to do.
You are smart, hardworking, dedicated, loyal, kind, caring, and lovable.
You deserve a better quality of life. You deserve to live longer and better. You deserve to feel good physically as well as mentally. You deserve to break free from the prison that you and food have created. A prison that keeps you in the house, keeps you from social functions, keeps you from taking pictures and making memories with others.
In some ways, fat has been your friend. It has allowed you to stay safe in a world where people leave you alone, don't make eye contact, ignore you in public, and generally want nothing to do with you. It was safe and no one could hurt you, but no one could love you either. You've said 'no' so many times that everyone quits asking. What was once safe is now suffocating and isolating.
So it's time to unfriend fat. Push the button and watch it in the rear view. Be the star, be free, go back into the world and take part. This is learning. This is growing. This is becoming a better version of yourself- one that tries new things and takes chances.
Time passes no matter what you choose, or don't choose, to do. In six months you could be lighter, happier, and healthier. Who can say no to that?
So let me love you, and we'll do this together...