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Wednesday, August 23, 2017

If you like who you are, really like who you are, I suggest you close your Spark account right now. I mean it. Don’t bother reading any further. Don’t even consider healthy nutrition choices. Forget about moving your body. Being a part of this journey will change you from the inside out. You will be challenged in ways you never imagined. You will be frustrated. You will be encouraged. You will be angry. You will be happy. You will run through so many conflicting emotions, often times during the same day, you will question your sanity. If you don’t live alone, the people you live with will question your sanity too. The tell tale sign they are doing this is when you start noticing that all the knives are missing.

Sometimes those changes will race up to you, hit you in the back of the head, and force you to make a decision. That happened to me this week. Recently I lost some weight. My clothes, especially my pants, and I were destined to part ways. I tried to pretend they were some really fun palazzo pants, but was getting a little tired of the walk ten steps, hitch them up, walk ten steps, hitch them up. I was one step away from them falling down all together. There are cameras all over my work. I am very afraid I will appear on America’s Funniest Home Videos. If I do, I hope I am at least wearing decent underwear. It’s a 50-50 shot.

If you have played the weight game, which is way less fun than it sounds, then you know all about the multiple size clothing lurking in your home. I had three very large suitcases filled with smaller sized clothing. It was time to pull it all out. I spent hours, and a lot of sweat, trying them on. Finally separating it into two piles of fits and not yet. It was a good feeling.

Now I faced a dilemma. What should I do with my too big clothes? Should I put them in the empty suitcases? Do I dare give them away? What if the weight comes back? I’ve been down this road before. I’ve given clothes away, only to gain it all back. That is when the light bulb went on. If I keep the clothes, then I am already preparing to fail. I am telling myself I can’t do this. I am telling myself that my past choices have to be my future choices. If there is one thing I have learned, I am not that girl anymore.

Another light bulb went off. It was like the paparazzi were taking up residence in my head. I realized I have changed.

emoticon The girl that eats food just because it is there…I am not that girl anymore.

emoticon The girl that lies to herself on her food tracker…I am not that girl anymore.

emoticon The girl that wears clothes that she doesn’t like…I am not that girl anymore.

emoticon The girl that follows the same plan expecting different results…I am not that girl anymore.

emoticon The girl whose emotions are based on the scale…I am not that girl anymore.

emoticon The girl that avoids going to the doctor until she loses 5 more pounds…I am not that girl anymore.

emoticon The girl that avoids healthy movement…I am working on her.

emoticon The girl that doesn’t stay up reading one more chapter…I am working on her.

emoticon The girl that avoids social situations…I am working on her too.

Yes, this journey is changing me. From the inside out.

Until next time. Be Safe. Be Strong. Be Healthy. Keep Sparking!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks for this blog, I had a spin out after my brother passed, I needed a kick in the head. Thank you for reminding me we are all a work in progress, I don't want to keep being who I am, I know I can do better. Keep inspiring us, love your blogs.
    1220 days ago
    Great blog. It takes some of us awhile to get to that point but we are making progress.
    1279 days ago
    Thank you for writing your blog.
    1315 days ago
  • LINGOD2010
    great blog i started to tear up good luck all the things u r working on and congrats on the stuff that is complete
    1317 days ago
    1318 days ago
    Great blog!
    1319 days ago
    Thanks for your blog. I lost 30 pounds last year before my son got married in August. I have since gained back 20 of those pounds and I feel out of control. I don't want to be that girl. Thanks for the encouragement!
    1320 days ago
  • BARBI1975
    I'm down 50 pounds Now. I was down 70 but surgery took a toll on me. I didn't give up because"I'm not that girl anymore"! Instead' I put one foot in front of the other & continued on my journey to become the best "me" I can be!!
    1320 days ago
    your post is touches on soooo many of the things that I am dealing with, and like you...I am not the same girl i was anymore...thank you for saying what I didn't know how to say!
    1320 days ago
    Wonderful blog, you are a great writer!
    Congrats on your journey so far!
    1321 days ago
    Yes u will never need those big clothes
    1321 days ago
    Wonderful message. I'm not that girl anymore either and I'm beginning to like the girl I've become. I, too, have been sending away the too big clothes a little bit at a time. Unfortunately, most of my just right sized clothes I gave away years ago thinking I'd never be that size again - but I'm now getting close. So a little at a time I am buying new things but only enough to get by with. Fortunately for me I don't have to think about work anymore so I can pretty much wear the same things over and over again.

    Thanks for sharing and congratulations on the weight loss!
    1322 days ago
    Wow what a great blog. You made me chuckle but also to take a good look at myself. You inspired me.
    1322 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1322 days ago
    Great message
    1322 days ago
  • no profile photo CD17989942
    Well Skydrake, you didn't use a little hammer 🔨 to hit the nail on the pulled out the pile driver ....big chuckle about removing sharp diffiently there....hugs...
    1323 days ago
  • no profile photo CD17306117
    Wow. Thank you for sharing. Something to think about that is for sure. I don't think I have realized that I have changed, even though I think we all have. Thank you or sharing and getting me to think.
    1323 days ago
  • JUDITH316
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon This is a great Blog post.. emoticon for sharing, Congratulations for being a Popular Featured Blog Post... This is Fantastic!
    1323 days ago
    Julia, great blog. You inspired me!!
    1323 days ago
    What a great inspiration! After losing almost 20 lbs, I am starting to wear the more "exotic" clothes from my closet (e.g. not just jeans). And having the strength to get rid of things that are too big and don't look great. It' hard! But so worth it.
    1323 days ago
    Congratulations on the well deserved featured blog.
    Nicely done!
    1323 days ago
  • MARGIEB221
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1323 days ago
    Congratulations on your progress and keep up the great work!
    1324 days ago
    Wow! JUST WOW! You are an inspiration! (I'm a late-night-reader too... learning not to be that girl that munches on carbs or chocolate while I'll reading. Love your spirit! emoticon
    1325 days ago
  • CLL1217
    Great blog.Needed to read this
    1325 days ago
    Life is ever changing, our journey is ever changing! Isn't it a great ride?
    Happy Saturday!
    1325 days ago
    Wonderful post! Congrats on all you success and your lifetime changes! The clothes issue came up the first time I started weightwatchers. (What I wouldn't give to be the weight when I started, the first time my metabolism changed and I became then a little overweight). Anyhoo, I went against the grain and kept the clothes. My rule was to keep anything I felt like I looked nice in and donate the clothes I tolerated because they fit.That was before I had kids so some of the bigger clothes came in handy during and after pregnancy. I once had to go on steroids for a health issue and those clothes kept me feeling presentable and not having to spend money. Just about everyone who loses a lot of weight will tell you I am wrong, but I shall march to my own drummer on this one.
    1325 days ago
  • SHARON10002
    Julia, this is a great blog, and you wrote with such humor. I agree with 1CRAZYDOG, on the video cameras at work. Maybe you could make some funny faces as you walk by! emoticon on the weight loss, and the "downsizing"! That's totally emoticon and I am very happy for you, and wish you continued success!
    1326 days ago
    Julia, I did love your blog, thank you for sending it my way!

    I gave away all my big clothes too, because I am not that girl anymore, either. Although I am still in the process. :-)

    By the way, the "BWD" stands for Bird Watching Dreamer, since you asked. LOL

    So glad to count you in as GREAT spark friend!!! Let's keep changing together! emoticon
    1326 days ago
  • BJAEGER307
    I like the new you and not that girl anymore. The new you has such charged determination and comes through your blog. This was a very inspirational and motivational blog today. Thanks for the share.
    1326 days ago
    emoticon You are a new you...the REAL you! You know what you want and have the tools to reach your goals. Spark is a changing experience, and you jumped into the challenge all the way. I'm hoping you got rid of the clothes that are now too big. Enjoy where you are, and keep going forward. No one said it was going to be easy, but we're all doing it with the help of Spark and our Spark family. You're such a motivation to me. I ❤️ reading your blogs. Thank you for taking the time to put yourself out there. emoticon
    1326 days ago
    emoticon blog! emoticon emoticon emoticon Congratulations on your success and I'm sure your journey, with the inevitable up and downs (we're human), will take you to a healthy body, spirit and mind. I loved the old girl and love the new girl. emoticon emoticon
    1326 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/24/2017 7:17:44 PM
    Love this blog! emoticon

    I gave away my clothes as they got too big! I loved watching the pile grow! I love my new clothes! New clothes are a reminder to me to keep the weight off and not go back! I love the feeling of being able to fit into these new clothes! (And yes I have more weight to lose!)

    Enjoy the feeling! emoticon Cheers to you!
    1327 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Say good by to those to big cloths and enjoy nice fun new fitting clothing enjoy thanks for sharing emoticon
    1327 days ago
    Love this blog. Self examination leads to self reflection and change one step at a time. And change can be permanent, but for me requires a daily re-commitment and continued work.
    You have inspired us all!
    1327 days ago
    Great blog! Inspirational, humorous and educational. emoticon
    1327 days ago
    Congratulations on your progress! Thanks for both making me laugh on a morning that wasn't going so well and reflect on my own journey in a positive way. emoticon
    1327 days ago
    Yippy...Yahoo......absolutely spectacular!

    I'm so happy for you!

    I love the "fact" that ....this time it's different........habit changing....not shot term gratification!

    Thanks for sharing sparkly friend. emoticon
    1327 days ago
    I congratulate you on the hard won changes and encourage you to keep on fighting the good fight. I have a closet full of "when I get back into shape" clothes. Sometimes they motivate me, sometimes they mock me.
    I usually get rid of the big clothes as soon as I lose weight and vow if I gain it back I'll be driving around in a toga.

    Love your blogs; they speak so much to all our struggles.

    emoticon emoticon
    1327 days ago
    What a GREAT blog Julia!!!!!
    You are a wonderful writer and I think that the fact that you write so truthfully is what really makes it meaningful. You say it like it is and we can relate to that. emoticon

    So you are a late-night reader too?????????
    1327 days ago
    Wonderful!! Absolutely wonderful!! A blog from the heart, and one with a great deal of truth in it!

    We have a food pantry in our little upscale town that also accepts housewares and clothing, in season. I need to go through my summer closet and make sure things fit, and then go through my winter closet and do some culling. I've been doing this slowly but surely over the past 5 years, but this summer alone I've dropped a size in tops and bottoms, so some cleaning out is necessary! YOU DO IT TOO!!!
    1327 days ago
    Great blog! I like the lists of things that you are NOT doing anymore.

    I'm not the girl that watches TV all evening, and wonders why something is missing in her life.

    I'm not the girl who gets stressed about eating lunch with friends because I can't handle fries.

    You are motivating me to continue to make my list!
    1327 days ago
    A good percentage of my clothes are going to St. Vincent de Paul or Goodwill. Some I put in drawers in a spare bedroom. They are nicer. When I feel more confident that I will not regain I will take them to a consignment shop. I want to keep something to put on, hold up, and say, "I used to fit in these."
    1327 days ago
    emoticon Bravo!!
    1327 days ago
  • _LINDA
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    I am with you, keeping the fat clothes means you have no faith in yourself. Mom was storing mine and I had to tell her many times I am not going back there to get rid of them, but it took her years before she finally took them to Value Village. They were expensive, gorgeous clothes, but I swam in them, they couldn't even be tailored down to fit me without destroying the design they were that big. I looked like a kid playing dress up. It took showing Mom what I looked like in them to convince her. And seven years maintenance.
    You can do this! You have faith! Ditch the fat clothes and enjoy your new size!
    1327 days ago

    You are spot on. Give away those big clothes!!!!!!!!! emoticon

    I just looooooooooved your blog.


    1327 days ago
    1328 days ago
    Epiphany time ... time to clean out my own closet. emoticon
    1328 days ago
    Great Job!!!
    1328 days ago
  • MAYIE53
    Wonderful blog. Thank you for sharing your journey; inspirational!
    1328 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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