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Christmas Letter - Part 3 of 4

Thursday, November 16, 2017

If you have read my blogs the past few days, then you know because of my overactive imagination my Christmas letter to family and friends turns into more of a book. So that I do not freeze up the Spark system, I am sharing it with you in four installments.

Continuing on with your own personal advanced copy:

6th brilliant thought: *Jack* has finally learned to speak my language. After 30-years, yes we reached 30-years this past April, he tells me he loves me with glitter on top. I almost cried when he said it. We started the year with intentional dates. Below is a picture of our Princess Bride Date. It was a great excuse to buy myself a tiara. *Jack* is wearing a mask from the Wild West Masked Man set from the dollar store. It came complete with an orange gun and silver plastic sheriff’s badge. One of our best dates was when we went for massages. It was *Jack’s* suggestion. Now we go every month out of medical necessity.

By the way, I have been looking into my genealogy and I should not have had to buy my own tiara. I don’t know if I should admit this based on all the inbreeding, but I am a descendent to both the British and the former French monarchies. I believe that someone has a tiara with my name on it and they are holding out on me. Given how the French monarchy ended, I don’t think they would have had much use for head gear anyway. Someone just needs to hand over what is rightfully mine. They will not be recipients of my Christmas letter until they do.

7th brilliant thought: Okay, maybe not a brilliant thought, more of an update. On the first day of my Whole 30 diet, Antelope decides he is not going to go back to school. Antelope who is 23 and has never had a job in his life. Antelope who drives with Bub to school as Bub does not have a license yet. Can you feel my blood pressure rise? What was he going to do? We aren’t getting any younger. I pictured him at 50 sitting on my couch playing video games in his boxers while brewing hooch in his closet. No one wanted to hire him because he had never worked because I mistakenly believed school was more important. We needed a miracle.

The school district that I work for has a manufacturing program. In order to get extra grant money, they have to enroll special education students. The administrator for the program came to my office to ask my boss for some names of potential students. I said “too bad you can’t take my son.” His response was that my son was eligible. I explained that he is 23 and long out of school. He told me that there are programs that he has contacts at that will take Antelope. I was given a name to pass on to Antelope and he called them. They had a 12-week program 5-minutes from my house. Antelope was given $10 an hour to attend class, gas cards, steel toe boots, and a paid internship. The company he interned at offered him a full-time job. He will also be given up to $8000 in tuition to attend school on Saturdays so that he can receive additional training and double his salary. These programs are open to anyone, regardless of income level. Manufacturing jobs are begging for trained employees. Their workforce is retiring, and there are not enough people to take the jobs. Crisis averted.

8th brilliant thought: We ended up getting a third car so that Antelope can drive to work. Since Antelope totally goofed things up, Bub is working on getting his license. Had some hair whitening issues with vehicle right of way, but he is now getting it. I read on the internet, so am not sure if this is really true, but there aren’t any official rules for right of way other than emergency vehicles get it. Again, if I owned the road, there would be no issue as Bub would always have the right of way. He should have his license in December. Stay off his road.

Bub still attends a local college. We found out that the school he attends has a guaranteed transfer program with UIC where he wants to attend. Bub wants to transfer spring of 2019. A little later than he planned, but at least he is moving in the right direction. He is majoring in Biology and still wants to be a dentist.

8.5 brilliant thought: Speaking of dentists, I had more oral surgery this year. Now you would think that I would have remembered my dental ordeal last year. In all fairness, many months had passed, and I am not as intelligent as K.C., which explains why I was so shocked when recovery was longer than what I anticipated. Guess I am just a product of all that inbreeding.

Last installment is tomorrow where I will reveal my alias to you then.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    1233 days ago
    I love your writing voice! emoticon
    1233 days ago
  • no profile photo CD17927558
    I love the tiara! I also can't wait to see the look on my husband's face later when I tell him I love him with glitter on top. He will probably break out the white jacket that makes you hug yourself. 😉❤
    1236 days ago
    Brilliant idea! We had the 28th anniversary of our first date this past Sunday. I do need a Tiara. Maybe I will put a crowbar in my purse and pay for a subscription to the genealogy channel. I buy all sorts of expensive stuff, but basically only when it's on a big sale. Feels like its against my religion to buy Ancestry website access at full price.

    Bub and Antelope sound like my son. He's riding out college this year I guess, after his freshman year that ended this past May. We did eventually get the drivers license thing but it took like three years because I didn't realize the learner's permit was only one year. So it expired.... and we finally hauled him there and stayed until he went through and tested and retested and I think retested again on the written before he finally memorized all the answers and passed. Oh joy. But he's a pretty decent driver except when he screams at the drivers who are on his road...hmmm. Not really.

    I gotta go to bed!!

    Take care, Julia
    1236 days ago
    1237 days ago
    1238 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    1238 days ago


    Love it Julia!
    1239 days ago
    Until I reached pre-adolescence, I thought I was the descendent of aristocrats. But than my eldest sister explained what my teacher meant when they said I was a royal pain in the ass!
    1240 days ago
    Your date night is way more creative than mine. I need to step it up a notch. Perhaps starting a date night would be a beginning first step for me. Antelope fell into a really good deal. Nice that you were at the right place at the right time. Way to go, Mom! I hear people in those type of jobs tend to make more money these days and are gainfully employed due to the shortage of workers. This boy knew what he was doing all along. You and your family are blessed. they all share your humor?
    1240 days ago
    1240 days ago
  • BJAEGER307
    I'd love to get this Christmas letter from you, especially if it came with glitter. emoticon emoticon
    1241 days ago
    Everything's better with glitter emoticon
    1241 days ago
  • JUDITH316
    Great Blog, thanks for sharing, I loved the picture of you and your hubby. I too am interested in Genealogy and a few years ago I took it one step further and have and continue to research my family history, one of my lines I have researched back to the 1500's, the other family lines go back as far as the 1600 and 1700's. I love genealogy, I use Freepages and Ancestry.
    1241 days ago
    You are definitely a Queen! Once you claim you own country and your own set of rules, I will move there! Your blog has set the mood for my day! Thank you! emoticon
    1241 days ago
    Julia, all one has to do is to look at the picture of you and Jack on your date to see just how happy the two of you are. You can't fake the joy in your eyes.
    Antelope certainly walked into a wonderful program and he will have a job for as long as he wants one. Wisconsin is always crying for help in manufacturing and that will be the case for years to come.
    Bub sounds like our youngest son and his driving experiences. He was all set to go for his driving test. We all woke up that morning and schools were closed in the entire southern half of the State. I couldn't see the end of the driveway due to the blowing snow. We called the DMV to see if they wanted to set it for another date and they said that if he could pass on that day, we would never have to worry about him no matter what the conditions. He took and passed the test. Bub will be just fine.
    Love your letters...........
    1241 days ago
    Thanks for the smiles today and such a newsy letter your family should feel honored to get great letter from you. glad things worked for Antelope. sad that tomorrow is the last day . but i can go back reread and enjoy you humor again. emoticon
    1241 days ago
    I love your sense of humor and way with words. emoticon
    1242 days ago
  • _LINDA
    Wow! Good news for Antelope! That is incredible! People have lost a lot of jobs here because the oil industry went bust :-( So the boom our province had is gone. Oldest nephew is having trouble finding work in the trades as the housing market is down. Seems like the only sure jobs are the military and police, which my other two nephews are going for. One got in the military, but getting in the police is a very long, drawn out process. Its been a year since nephew has taken the second comprehensive multiple choice test and still hasn't heard!! How hard is it to grade a multiple choice test??? My nieces got lucky, jobs right out of college, one as a baker (there will always be people wanting to stuff their faces with incredible desserts) and the other as an order manager for a parts company.
    One question. You don't have a bus system there? Being in a great big vehicle is always safer, especially if they have special multi-user lanes.

    1242 days ago
    I love you with glitter on top totally unsolicited would make my year.
    Super fantastic for Antelope!! I know you are thrilled for him!!
    Bub will get the hang of things. Biggest thing to remember is NOT to multitask while driving. Oh, and by law, at least here in my corner of NJ is you yield to pedestrians, buses, emergency vehicles of any kind, especially ones with their lights and sirens going full blast. Just sayin'.
    1242 days ago
  • no profile photo CD16401498
    I am 54 and I want to be with Antelope in his training! WOW!! That's incredible! Where do I sign up! emoticon

    You and your husband are a lot of fun! LOVE the glitter date! emoticon
    1242 days ago
    Very interesting. Glad things worked out for your son. It's a wonderful opportunity. Just my opinion, but nowadays too many people getting college degrees when there are not that many type of jobs available. People can make a good living in skilled trades. On the good side, a dentist can set his own career path.
    1242 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/16/2017 4:46:15 PM
    Still lovin' it! You are a stitch! What a great job opportunity for DS Antelope! emoticon
    1242 days ago
  • LJK091354
    You made my day today! Thanks.
    1242 days ago
    Thank you so much for sharing your holiday letter with all of us here. I am chuckling my way through this and can't wait to see what tomorrow's installment will bring :)
    1242 days ago
    1242 days ago
    In all seriousness that is awesome program for son to be in! I have noticed around here every place has a help wanted sign!
    1242 days ago
    You can’t imagine how hard it was reading your hilarious blog while trying to steer this tractor, just great. I guess I too need my own road, the other day I made a left turn on red, GLBH says “you just made a illegal turn”, I said SO! 😀can’t wait for next installment!
    1242 days ago
  • no profile photo CD15653250
    emoticon emoticon See you tomorrow. emoticon
    1242 days ago
    Awwww, he loves you w/glitter on top!!! Utter sweetness. Monthly massages! I’m taking notes, dialing to make appointments for DH and I! Awesome

    BWAHAHAHAHA! I don’t need tiaras, I have full fledged CROWNS in my mouth! LOTS of them! LOL

    EXCELLENT on the Antelope front. Have a similar situation w/ my 22 yr. old DD. Well, she doesn’t sit in her undies playing video games. Her gig is on-line shopping! MOM! Look what I found. $100 boots that are adorable that serve no useful function (2 in heels) and I don’t need. Aren’t they adorable? GAH!

    Noted. Will stay off Bub’s road. Stay off of DD’s road too!!

    Ok, replenishing my stash of kleenex to dab away the laughter tears!
    1242 days ago
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