Christmas Letter - Grand Finale

Today we come to the end of my 2017 Christmas letter. If you have stuck with me so far, you might want to reach for some empty calorie foods and take a nap. Don’t do it. After my bank account fraud discovery last night, I took care of that front for all of us. Just so you know, Haagen Daz followed by Rice Krispie treats does not cure bank account fraud. Maybe I needed a whole pint instead of the half pint that was left. Enough of that…

Final installment of your personal advanced copy:

9th brilliant thought: My goals this year are to simplify my life and to venture outside of my comfort zone. Comfort zone meaning actually seeking time with real people, and not just my book people. It is not easy for me to do, and I will probably be purchasing a pallet of socially awkward apology cards. As an introvert that actually likes people, I am my own oxymoron. Or maybe just a moron…


I am attempting to simplify through adequate sleep--apnea machine helps (although my book people keep following me to bed begging me to read just one more chapter, thus blowing the early bedtime out of the water), consuming a diet of real food, participating in healthy movement, connecting with others, and intentionally focusing on a deeper personal relationship with God. I have been taking a hard look at my life and realize how many things that I do that complicate it. I think my brain says, “Excuse me, isn’t there a more difficult, complicated, time-consuming way to accomplish this task? That is the path I wish to follow.” Ah well, we are all an experiment of one.


10th brilliant thought: Have you ever heard of the Sixth Degree of Kevin Bacon? It is a theory that each person is no more than being six people away from knowing Kevin Bacon.

*Jack* has met Snoop, Gallagher, Ronald Regan, and Mohammed Ali.
I have met Richard Simmons (I know, so not cool), Orville Reddenbacher, and I walked next to Dolly Parton downtown once (she is really short with a giant head. Think E.T. proportions).
*Jack* and I both met Richard Dent from the 1985 Chicago Bears.
My cousin and his wife were on Oprah. (Okay, I can share why they were on Oprah with Spark friends. It was her discussing how she didn’t have any sexual feelings towards her husband after her hysterectomy. My cousin just sat there staring at the floor. He did not say one word.)
My sister worked with Harvey Korman’s niece (if you do not know who Harvey Korman is, you are obviously too young for my road. Get off it.)
As a teenager, my dad went on an outing with Nancy Regan.

By knowing us you are:
Third Degree from Snoop, Gallagher, Ronnie, Ali, Simmons, Reddenbacher, Dent, and Parton.
Fourth Degree from Oprah and Nancy Regan.
Fifth Degree from Korman.

Now if one of these people has met Kevin Bacon, the Sixth Degree theory will be true and the universe can continue on its course. (By the way, “knowing” in this case is used in the loosest possible sense as I am sure none of these people currently living actually remembers any of us. I am pretty much okay with that as celebrities do not impress me. It isn’t like they are important enough to be on my Christmas letter list. I am more fascinated with the Sixth Degree concept, plus someone sharing the name of one of my favorite foods, than I am of them.)



Did you ever think you would get to the end of this Christmas letter? If you read it all the way through, throw some glitter and confetti on yourself. If you didn’t, then you won’t know to do this, and will have missed the whole party. If you are an introvert like me, then you aren’t too sad about missing the party at all and can go back to enjoying the book you were reading.

May your holidays be happy.
May your 2018 be blessed beyond measure.
May your life be filled with brilliant thoughts.

Love,

Rainbow Sparkle Glitter Butterfly Princess Fairy
(Now you know my alias, but Julia works too.)

P.S. Did anyone notice that I didn’t mention menopause this year? Not once? Crud. I just did. There is always hope for next year…but then again, what is a Christmas letter without at least one mention of menopause?