Did you create something today?
Monday, January 01, 2018
I have to write fast, because it came to me in the middle of yoga, right before my cat bit me and then jumped on the coffee table to knock over my water glass, and then I got heartburn, so here it is:
My mind was whirling during mountain pose and all the twist poses. "It's 2018," I thought. "Another year, another set of resolutions to fail. What am I going to resolve this year? What am I going to ultimately fail at, other than my 2017 resolution to be a bigger @$$hole. I mean, let's be real, that worked out pretty well in my favor, heh heh."
Similarly dark thoughts were invading my meditational space, which happens more often than not. On the downward bend as I attempted to stretch my hamstrings in whatever asana it's called, my mind was racing with to-do lists, and I could feel the panic and exhaustion already rising. "So many things to do... so many things to do... my God, so many things to do... how am I going to do them all? When will it ever stop? Does it even really matter? Does it really matter at all?" You know that familiar refrain. That one that triggers your anxiety attacks and your insomnia and your binge eating and your paralysis to do anything so you just lay in bed all day or sleep on the couch. No? That just me? Oh, okay. Sure. Well, anyway.
As I said, during that downward bend, during that swirling vortex of anxiety and doubt building up and threatening to drive me into the cinnamon rolls and possibly preemptively dump the water on my cat that she was trying to knock over, a single phrase shot through the madness: "Create something." "What?!" I thought. "Who said that?" "Create something. Every day. Don't make a to-do list. Create something."
What the f*** does that even mean, Universe?! How can I create something when I have so much to do?????????????????????
Create something. Don't just throw something together just to check dinner off the list. Create something. Put some thought into it. Create food to nourish yourself and those around you. Don't just chuck the laundry in the hamper to check tidying up off the list. Create order. Create space. Don't just check things off a never-ending list. Will something into being. Breathe something into existence.
Ask yourself if you created something today. Did you will something into existence instead of just check off some meaningless, banal list?
I promise you that I am stone cold sober, except for the six cups of coffee I've had today. I don't know where this came from, but I'm willing to give it a try. Create every moment with intent. Don't merely exist. Okay. Fine. Sure. Right now, I'm about to create a space for my little cat who continues to try to get up on the coffee table and stick her head in my water glass. Heeeeeeeere kitty kitty kitty....