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To a Sparkpeople Motivator: Kelly_SS---THANK YOU!

Thursday, March 15, 2018

It is nearly 4 p.m. and I am waiting for my pain meds to kick in so I can stop crying. The back and hip pain is that bad. That is not why I am posting this though.

I want to give a shout out to one of our team mates, Kelly. I had spark mailed her and asked her to tell me her story about her own struggles with the debilitating pain of RA and fibromyalgia. She not only shared her struggles but also gave me such words of encouragement which I sorely needed right now

Kelly, you gave me such hope and a reason to keep pushing on in spite of how I feel and have felt for the past couple of weeks. As God as my witness, I have never ever gone through such horrible pain. I have felt so alone in this as I have cried by candlelight and cried by daylight. Kelly, you changed that today for me. I know that I am not alone and out there others are suffering as well. This has given me such comfort that I can not express it any better.

I will admit that in the midst of all this I have not been good to myself in terms of taking care of myself. I have been mired in self-pity while I eat jelly beans and gum drops (they sooth me while I am feeling the pain). However, it is really doing some wacky things to my blood sugar and at times it is rising and dropping 200 pts. which can really add more suffering because you get sick to your stomach, you are dizzy and you feel as weak as a kitten. With not much on my stomach I am experiencing dry heaves all the time with the pills sitting on my stomach.

Kelly, your response has enabled me to shake that off and eat a real meal at a real time. Even though I don't have an appetite I had a good lunch. Thank you for helping me to see that is part of self-care especially as I weather this storm.

Thank you for the vast information regarding the pain meds that are out there and what works and what doesn't. I will definitely take that information along (I was clueless up to that point) when I see the rheumatologist in two weeks (yes, this was the soonest I could get in--the scheduler said they are booked solid through May so there are others out there who are going through this as well). I am seeing an orthopaedic doctor about my back injury. It has been 17 weeks and the more I do the worse it gets. I am afraid that in my zeal of wanting to recover I may have caused a set back of sorts.

This has been a real serious test of my faith in God's providence and how He chooses to answer our daily prayers. I believe Kelly you were an answer today and I thank you and God for your candor, your compassion and caring that you have shown me. I am grateful.

You are hearby designated my fourth 'earth angel'. emoticon . That is a title that I have only bestowed on three other people in my life.

Now, I can see why you are a Sparkpeople motivator. If you hadn't been I was ready to nominate you as one.

Love Pam
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KRISZTA11
    Thank you for sharing, so much truth in your blog and Kelly's comment.
    I'll remember this when I'm with people who are in pain.
    emoticon
    1085 days ago
  • KELLY_SS
    Oh Pam, I truly don't know what to say. I am deeply touched, on so many levels. I shared this with my husband, he got a tear in his eye. When I got sick, I was so sick and scared. I had already gone thru about 18 months of brutal pain and felt isolated and forgotten. The people in my life did not understand what was happening to me and instead of standing by me, they scattered into the winds. They loved me but they had no understanding and it didn't get any better once I had the confirmed diagnosis. People usually can't relate to what they do not understand and sometimes that means they also can't show sympathy or concern. Sometimes they even blame the sick person. It is a lack of understanding, patience and not wanting to take the time to educate themselves just enough to get a bit of understanding. That is what happened to me. Then I found an online group of others suffering from RA and other chronic illnesses and chronic pain. It changed a lot of things for me. Those people helped me. They gave me information, support and consolation. Finally, someone understood my pain and my debilitating illness. It means so much to me if I was able to help you at all, and if my arms could reach thru this computer screen, I would give you a big but very gentle hug and tell you this "Pam, you are not alone." Please know that I am only a sparkmail away and here if you need to talk, complain or cry. My gosh, the amount of tears I have shed in the last 5 years could surely cover the entire face of the earth. I know it can feel lonely and isolated but just remember, you are not alone. Thank you for the beautiful words, I am so grateful that you reached out to me. emoticon

    Love, Kelly
    1085 days ago

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