Day 23: Counter the "Unfairness" Syndrome
Friday, March 23, 2018
This is yet another very important attitude adjustment kind of thinking/belief that once mastered can make so many things in life a lot easier. It is about accepting whatever is in your life right now. There is a misnomer that acceptance implies embracing a situation or circumstance but that is not the case: all acceptance means is that you acknowledge something (usually unpleasant) in your life and that you do not resist or deny that it exists. By doing so you can get on with the rest of your life in spite of the shortcomings you may be experiencing that feel (and actually may be) 'unfair'.
Since I have a couple of chronic long term health issues that need to be controlled or managed with the outside possibility that they could 'go away' although I doubt it this helped me deal with some of the 'unfair' aspects of weight loss a lot easier. Diabetes runs in both sides of my family. I have a first cousin who is now losing toes as a result of his diabetes. I had an infected toenail that took over a month to heal. As much as I would love to have a mani-pedi I am afraid that if I did and either my nails were cut too short or, God forbid, the tools used were not as sanitary as they need to be I could be setting myself up for complications.
As I have said before, in order to successfully manage and control diabetes, you really have to start at the point of what you put into your mouth to eat, how much of that food you eat as well as when you eat it. The better I manage my diabetes the better my overall weight loss goes. So many people think that you can never have any sweets (candy or baked goods) but you can provided you are really on top of the carbs etc. that you are ingesting. Sometimes, it does mean eating a half of a cookie. Not everyone is up to that level of control or discipline. However, it is also not just monitoring your carbs (again what most people think) but also your proteins and fats since heart and kidney disease can develop or worsen if you ignore these two macronutrients.
However, I do completely understand when a person with no apparent health issues other than an excess amount of weight on their body has to be that disciplined. I have felt feelings of frustration, resentment, anger and self-pity when I am faced with what I can or can't eat. In fact, I am seriously considering on working with a Registered Dietician simply because I am trying to balance foods as a diabetic as well as having IBS (irritable bowel syndrome).
So, I have found the best way to counter the 'unfairness' syndrome is just have a strong talk with your self and remind yourself that being obese is a health risk. You may feel 'fine' today but you never know when you will have problems down the road. When my late Mom was diagnosed with diabetes she slashed out at me because she knew that my Dad's family had a long history of almost every family member having diabetes. When she got a Christmas card from her baby brother who also mentioned that he was taking meds for diabetes she then resigned herself to learning how to live with her diabetes. A change in attitude can make a big difference in how well we deal with and cope with whatever we need to master. The more and longer you resist the greater the chances are that you will end up sabotaging your efforts over and over again.
Since both my diabetes and IBS has worsened over the past year I have struggled with this aspect more than anything. I often throw up my hands and say to God, 'What am I supposed to eat?' Which disease do I feed: the diabetes or the IBS? For example, you can have hard candies, jelly beans and marshmallows on the IBS. However, if I indulge in them too much I wreck my blood sugar and then start to see complications get worse as a result. It is not an easy situation to be in and I am not saying I do as well as I would like. Again, working harder on self-acceptance can help make this task a lot easier.
Instead of focusing on what you can't have it is much better to focus on what you can have as well as the intrinsic benefits you will receive once you comply with disciplining your food and exercise habits. Some day you will say that you are glad that you were overweight at one time because it was your wake up call to start taking better care of yourself and once you did and begin to see the results you will be thankful that something (the extra weight) brought this to your attention so you could know and enjoy what it feels like to be healthy, active and a lower weight.
As someone in one of my teams has on her signature posts: "Life is hard and life is unfair but life is also very good." It certainly is when you embrace what you are gaining by choosing to turn your life around.