Day 25: Identifying Sabotaging Thoughts
Monday, March 26, 2018
I consider this yet another crucial aspect of arming yourself to combat self-sabotaging while endeavoring to make serious changes to my eating behavior. These are the ones that I find pop up the most frequently.
1) Things are different now and what I couldn't have 'then' I can have now and 'handle it'.
2) I can ease up on my efforts when I am 'ill' (influenza, cold, arthritis flare up etc.)
3) This won't hurt if I have it just this once (or infrequently or on a special occasion)
4) Yes, I know that it has some ingredients that may not be good for me I choose to eat this food anyway. (ie: empty sugar calories--I am diabetic, high fat foods even though I have elevated triglycerides or high sodium --my blood pressure is Stage 1 for hypertension.)
5) I am in charge here and not this blasted food plan or diet. I will 'call the shots'.
I think behind all of these sabotaging thoughts are stubborn pride, wanting to be in control all the time and simply being resistant to change. I hate to admit that someone else knows better for me than I do myself but most of the time they do. I feel like when I follow a diet and what I would prefer to eat that I have allowed my own desires and wishes to be put on the back burner and I resent that. I admit that I do not knowingly have HFCS but I do often have trans fats in restaurant meals or packaged crackers, cookies and baked goods. I am resistant to the changes that I need to make to not make my health worse even though I know that is a 'risky decision' on my part. The worst possible time to eat poorly is when you are sick. For a diabetic being ill triggers the blood sugar to become very elevated as it fights the disease. I don't need to fuel the fire as well. In practicality the last thing that I need to do is have Ben & Jerry's for breakfast followed by pizza for supper. My present health issues will go away (eventually) and then I can return to eating poorly as I once did (which may have ironically lead me to my health issues but my logical mind won't admit that).
So, once identified, what's next? Admit that I do have sabotaging thoughts and that it is in my best interest to be aware of them and actually confront them when they occur. Once confronted the next step is to argue against their well meaning but misplaced 'rationale'. Then, it is time to begin to work on accepting that circumstances have changed for me and if I want to avoid any declining health beyond what I am experiencing now then I need to realize that what I could do in the past without seemingly being worse for the wear because of that no longer holds up to the scrutiny of daylight.
It is not easy to admit that change has occurred somehow while you were busy dealing with other issues in life but it can and does happen. I can not live the way I used to and expect things to remain the same. My body is aging for one thing and with that has come a susceptibility of succumbing to family genes. In fact, I could have done 'everything right' (normal weight range, been consistently active and eaten nutritious foods) and still ended with some of the health problems my near relatives have now simply because that gene does exist there and it can and might pop up whenever you least expect it.
So, now I am faced with working on accepting that I am different and I have to now work within that framework if I am going to enjoy better health moving forward. I like others can find a ready-made excuse for just about anything we want to do so I wonder why we don't find one to do something that will be far better than what we have been doing.
It is time to start looking for reasons (think advantage card reasons) to play this game by the rules instead of making up our own. It may not feel natural at first but I know we won't later regret it and that is a big reason to do anything. Living life without regrets.