Having trouble being my normal, cheerful, optimistic self
Saturday, April 28, 2018
I am sad. Almost all the time. Cry at the drop of a hat. Pitiful.
I have SO MUCH to be grateful for. In the last 5 years I had bilateral pneumonia with MRSA and 4 surgeries with that, open heart surgery with 5 bypasses and an aortic valve replacement, and cervical spine surgery, C4-C7 being totally rebuilt with titanium plates, screws and a cage. I could have been paralyzed from the neck down, but I wasn't.
I had my Nerve Conduction Velocity test on Thursday. I have mild carpal syndrome in my left hand, and moderate in my right hand. I don't want to find out what severe feels like. On the right hand the thumb, pointer finger and middle finger are always tingly, gradually becoming numb. That hurts. I'm beginning to lose the ability to feel very cold or very hot with that hand. I wear a compression brace, which sometimes helps. I will be buying a stiff brace that bends my wrist back a bit, which stretches the carpal muscle sheath. I'll wear that at night. I get chiropractic adjustments on both my hands, which help, and I've scheduled an acupuncture treatment next week to see if that will help. I will eventually have to have surgery. I am right handed. I knit. I craft. I sew. I HAVE to be able to use my hand!
Don't yet know if my hand issue was exacerbated by my neck surgery. I'm still waiting to have a CT scan scheduled for my neck.
Having problems with my left knee. It hurts ALL the time now.
I am trying to remain optimistic. It's hard. I go from not wanting to eat anything, to wanting to eat everything. Sigh. I know things will get better, but right now I'm not in a good place.
Thank you for reading.