Sunday, May 20, 2018
Dear Spark People Friends,
It is with deep regret that I must drop Spark People for good. I had a mini stroke for the seventh time a couple of weeks ago and I have had to rethink my priorities.
I have loved being on Spark People because I have so enjoyed socializing with you wonderful "sisters" with like concerns. I have actually conquered my eating disorder of dieting and binging and am only three lbs from goal. I know I will arrive there as I continue to treat my body with respect.
I really thought my daily participation, in Spark People to the point of several hours a day, was a de-stressor, but in all actuality it has added to my stress.
To be totally honest, like with junk food, SP is where I have hidden from the reality of what I really should, need and want to do but have procrastinated doing for far too long: things the "spirit" has been nudging me to do for years, in favor of escapism.
Being disobedient to the promptings of the Holy Spirit, adds a lot of stress to the present stress of having to care for 2 mentally and physically disabled men in our home, plus battle hypoglycemia, blood pressure problems, venous insufficiency that causes constant pain, try to earn money to supplement the disability income of two disabled daughters not living with us, plus do my "church work".
I believe I have found the answer to the mini stroke I am sure I had but which the doctor can never confirm, only from my brief symptoms.
I have been trying, of course, to eat a balanced unrefined foods "diet", eating the right amount of calories, but have discovered I probably eat too many carbs in view of the fact I have a tendency toward Hypoglycemia. Monitoring my blood sugar, after a meal which contained both grains and fruits, I found my blood sugar raised a little then slamed me lower than it was before I even ate which was low already.
The combination of it that along with the stress of everday life all made me feel extremely weak and that in turn caused a panic attack that sent my blood pressure up and gave me a mini stoke and then my adrenal gland, kicked in to try to equalize all the chaos in my body (like giving me a shot of epeniphrin), making my liver release glucose, so that my blood sugar levels would normalize, so that by the time I got to the hospital, the numbness in my limbs were gone and I was only left with severe shaking, that they couldn't figure out. Does that make any sense to you?
I am not one to be a quitter, but I did not "count the costs", before I started SP (because I didn't know them before hand) of the time I would be spending being on here, starting my own team, plus being on another social media, Facebook.
We are here on this earth to learn by experience. Too bad we have to learn the hard way most of the time. I am afraid I have an addictive personality or maybe it is just the natural man in me that like the Sadducees and the Pharisees, "full of excess".
With the tendency of the "natural man" to become addicted to the things we find pleasurable, I really have just traded addictions. Now I must quit cold turkey and it won't be easy but with the help again of the Lord I will begin to practicing abstainance from not only junk food but from ALL the things of this world.
I do hope you understand and will forgive me. I do not want to be a quitter but we must live, learn though experience and accept our limitations. I will be 79 in October and it is hard to accept that there are things I would like to do that I cannot do any longer and that I must slow down, de-stress and live. I cannot risk having a major stroke and I am afraid I have been headed in that direction.
I love you all and if there is anyone who would like to stay in touch with me I would be happy for you to message me your e-mail address and I will give you mine.