venting on life

I guess I am weird. I have no close friends. I work in a Dr office it is just me and the Doctor (he doesn't like to talk much). I don't know what is wrong with me that I can't have close friends. I have friends but no one to hang out with or to craft with. I love to scrapbook or make cards. I go to crops and work aside lovely ladies. I have two sisters. My middle sister doesn't want a close relationship and my youngest doesn't live here (she is very much a loner doesn't want anyone knowing what is going on in her life). My Mother was my best friend we did everything together. We lost her 4 years ago to Alzheimer's. I have struggled with that emptiness since. I haven't found anyone that I can share and do things like I could her. I have friends that I text or chat with in church but none that are a deep relationship. I so miss that with Mom. Though the last 2 years of her life I didn't have that either but I was so busy working, going to college, taking care of my family and her. I am 51 and alone in a crowded room.

I have gained 45 pounds since Mom died. I am at the 300 door. I need to change. I have to do it alone. My husband thinks that I just need an app or a new cookbook and I will lose it all. Don't get me wrong DH is a great guy. I didn't gain it over night it isn't going away over night. I know most of my problem is that I sit too much. I work an office job and most of it is sitting. Then I going home and after supper I sit and craft. Because crafting makes me happy and relaxed.

I know that there is nothing anyone can do but me but I just wanted to vent . Thank you