Why Do I Feel Less/Negative Messages in My Head
I confess even though I don't have much in my life, I feel grateful and loved. Yet I do have times where I feel that I am on the outside looking in on life; because I have less emotionally than others. During these times I realize I have less. Those are the times I realize that my mind wants to tell me I am less worthy; send negative messages into my head, and make me feel depressed.
Maybe they started went I got yelled at for holding that glass of milk? When my mother saw me as so frail. I noticed that every time for a brief time as a child when I was judged, I stuttered back then. This set me on the course to becoming shy, if you didn't know me.
We all are influenced by what & how our parents raised us. And even if they aren't in your life, their messages if negative are. You are a bad person if you do... Or eat this pretty little girl...Or show us you can dance ort say your ABC'S... Maybe you feel badly when someone touches you, because of sin outside of marriage. If you were the youngest child, maybe your sibling was treated to better behavior or clothes. Our mind takes all of that in, and makes us judge ourselves as less. Maybe you weren't pretty enough, or athletic enough so your parents made you clean the house while your sibling ran around with friends. Maybe your parents used food to control you. Either with holding or making you expectable by being fatter?
I have a very snobbish sister with grown children whom I love that only live 30 minutes away from me. They treat me like a stranger. They are always too busy to get together, or even invite me to their houses. I may see them for less than 1/2 hour during a X Mas party once a year. My sister victimizes people to feel empowered, and we don't talk. So I feel like I am on the outside looking in on what is left of my family. My mother had dementia at the end of her life so I do think she raised us without knowing how to truly love. There are no schools that train people on how to love, or really raise children without feeling pitted against each other in some way.
So how do you tell yourself that you are less. Do you do it when you feel lonely?
Or maybe when you realize you have eaten those little snacks, and they add up to make you binge, or stay the same in weight, or gain? Do you feel like you are less when you have no one that calls to check up on you? Or friends to ask you to go out to lunch or some activity to feel better?
We are all born with more positive ideas of; who we are, if we are loved, & what we can become prior to our programming in life. God has given each of us the same things. A spirit to fill us with the knowledge of who we are. A spirit to fill us with love/ self love. And a Spirit guide to know what we want in life. It is unfortunate that some people affect us so poorly. If you can get those people out of your life. It's no use to try to convenience them other wise because they aren't you. They don't have your kindness, or in sight, or feeling of love. Only try to have positive people in your life to lean on emotionally. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are worthy, kind, beautiful on the inside. Now act like you believe it!
And if you have nothing, but pets like me; then get out into activities and try to make friends. Stop complaining internally to yourself, " oh poor me, I am isolated, no one loves me, I am fat, ect..." Do something about it, and change the direction of your emotions & thoughts, self talk, life and weight. Your life can become more full with more people. Go to where they are, and get invested in activities. Push yourself to stop bad behaviors by eliminating them by doing something else. Every times you feel the need. Want a cookie, candy or ice cream? Don't mindlessly eat or out of bad messages or depression. Get those triggers or negative foods out of your house. Eat whole foods in their original state. Go read a book. Drink some water with chia seeds to fill up or exercise. Read the Bible on the topic.
Feel calmer by distracting yourself, and substituting something that is a healthier life style. Let God take over your stress.
Yet I do appreciate much more, and am grateful for what I have, and feel blessed to know what I know. Sometimes it does us no good to rehash blame for what has happened to us, but move on in victory.
So today even though I do know that I have less, I don't feel less! I am on the road to having more. Because God has willed it so, and my eyes are wide open for change.
I have made the necessary actions to turn my life style around and my life. As much as I hate exercising, I will do that every day possibly. I go to Curves to help correct injuries, and strengthen my body. Also walk little Sammy in the park daily. I am venturing out to meet people in activities to put more people in my life. I have you now, and we realize that we aren't alone in our pain. We can become stronger together, and have some laughs alone the way. And most of all I have God to give me love when I feel like there isn't enough in my life. Than you God for sending me my family of animals to keep me from feeling so isolated, and loved.
Well I hope in some way that you have learned some of those things we all go through may be hurting you, and how to change for the better. Always remember to put yourself on the top of your list, and love yourself enough. Also if you are having bouts of depression eat more vegetables ( 2 1/2 cups must be raw out of 5). That way you get a lot of magnesium which holds down depression, PMS, anxiety,and muscles problems, hugs, eva.