Day 1 of 366
Wednesday, January 01, 2020
Today is my day 1. I have spent a lot of time in reflection over the past few weeks of things I want to do in this fresh, new year, which is also the year of my 45th birthday. This past yr was a rough one for me. My mom has dementia and in 2019 she declined drastically. We had to make some changes with the 1st being her driver's license, that was the start of the decline and a lot of depression. It's been tough and a lot on my shoulders. In Sept/Oct i was dealing with a lot of joint, muscle pain and fatigue which led me to a rheumotologist. I have a current diagnosis of undifferentiated connective tissue disease with possibility of overlap syndrome. A lot of confusing terms, but basically clinical symptoms of lupus, scleroderma and rheumatoid but some of the labs are not showing it yet. It makes it rough because thought labs don't tell the story, my body feels it. I am currently on meds, have good days and bad. So on to my goals. I really wanted to do something different this yr. I was really driven by the peloton commercial (the one causing so much controversy). I liked the idea of setting a goal to achieve something over the course of the whole yr. I tossed around different ideas. I am not a runner, I do no high impact whatsover anymore do to the joint issues. So i decided I wanted to walk/bike so many miles for the yr. But what? The fear of not being able to achieve it set in. I was afraid that because of the health issues i would give up. But unlike things in the past, I am really driven this year. So I decided on 1228 miles. (My stillborn son's bday) I decided that i would do more on the days I feel good to make up for the days I don't. I want to blog about it, not daily but regular check in's to keep on track and accountable. So today was Day 1, 3.27 miles complete. On my walk, I came upon a penny (no it wasn't heads up), but a penny is my way of feeling connected to my son, the son whose bday is my goal.