My Adventures in Spark Land...Day 168 of doing the new: Disney Family Sundays
Friday, January 17, 2020
"To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others. You only need to accept your amazing self." ~Heather Stillufson
When I was growing up, I explained to mom what I wanted to do when I grew up. Mom thought I wanted to be a special ed teacher. When I went to a 2 year college, I took rec classes and loved them. I could see myself being a rec therapist. My friends thought I should be a counselor since I was good at helping them solve their problems. Looking back what I described to my mom was actually a therapist not a special ed teacher. Mom wanted me to go to a small Bible College. They had neither degree so mom pushed me into teaching degree. This degree didn't fit me and the teaching dept even tried to explain to my mom no degree in their college fit what I wanted. Mom would not listen. I was coming home a lot to visit my grandpa so mom got involved (she was a spec ed teacher) in my home work. She got upset at the way they were teaching me. The kids were watching more and more TV and order to teacher them, the teachers had to become more creative. Mom believed kids shouldn't be watching TV. She limited us to 1 hour of TV a day. Not every parent is like my mom. The assignments she helped me with I got low marks. 2 of those assignments hunt me every once in awhile. One was for children's lit. We had to take a book, read it in front of the class, and give our classmates something to remember the book. I forgot what book I picked and what I did but I remember how fun the rest of the class was. One class mate's was awesome and she is a librarian today.
There is a TV show called 'Disney Family Sundays' that reminds me of that assignment. The do a craft connected to that movie. For my Day 168 of doing the new, I watched that show. To my total shock I found myself saying 'I could think of something better to do related to that movie!'
Carol Tuttle's 2nd Chakras is related to creativity. She talked about bloating, IBS, UTI, etc related to shame. I already told you I felt shame because I was raped. I also am beginning to see I felt I wasn't creative. My projects where I had to use my creativity got D's. Looking back-mom helped me. I got A's in my rec classes which used my creativity. When I made gifts everyone but mom like them. His dislike was loud. Basically the message I received from my mom was shame for wanting to be creative! Knowing today I could make something creativity better to go with the movie then they did-shocked me! Then I realized my creative chakra is beginning to open!
Last night I re watched a video put out by Carol Tuttle on Hobbies-type 1. The type 1 person said hobbies? I have no hobbies. I have no desire to go to a hobby store and do some kind of kit. Then Carol asked 'what do you do for fun?' The type 1 person said she thought back to when she was growing up and thought what did she enjoy doing as a kid? Then she saw she was stilling doing it as an adult. She named off tons of 'hobbies' The key she said is 'If it isn't fun, she won't do it.' Thinking about me...the things I loved to do as an adult and I kid, mom had something negative to say about it. Until I felt the world as a unfun place. The 'fun things' the type 1 person listed even doing as a child was not childish. I really need to add enjoyment into my life. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as I am enjoying it, it will give me what I've been lacking for so long!
Onward to day 169 of doing the new.