Day 21 and 22
Monday, February 24, 2020
Usually I write about the day the morning after. I have not yet had a chance to write about yesterday and it is almost 9pm, so I've just decided to roll these two days together.
Yesterday was good, sugar-wise. I was able to say no to dessert whilst out for lunch because I'd planned for dessert that evening. Then, even though there were chocolates after dinner, I was able to say no again, largely due to thinking about how bad too much sugar is for me - so, knowledge can be golden.
Today has been very very hard. To celebrate 21 days I went and bought some indoor house plants - in an attempt to bring some life into the house. That was good. It came to a bit more money than I thought it would, as I needed to buy pots also - but I hope it will add to a positive feeling in the house. It certainly feels nice to look up from my computer and see a pot-plant on my bookshelf rather than stacks of paper! And it was nice to look at another plant in the kitchen as I was cleaning up. As I was working out where to put the plants, I realised how our living room is really a glorified playroom - because as I was thinking about decorating I saw how there was no where in the room where the plant fitted! It was an interesting realisation.
I was exhausted today. I have not been sleeping well and it showed today. And I ended up eating a hot-cross bun for lunch. Then later in the evening when my family suggested take-away, I just gave in. So, I'm not proud of myself for that. Have I had chocolate? No. No sugary snacks, but if ever there was a day when I really wanted them, it was today. I guess I'm just not proud of my food choices, and I made them because I was so tired, and I don't really understand why I am so tired when I had quite a bit of time alone. I think it feels a little bit like two steps forward and three steps back: in spite of investing in my emotional health this weekend and today, I still was not as emotionally healthy as I wanted to be, and that is frustrating.