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Birthday with Mom

Sunday, March 01, 2020

Since my last blog about Mom, there have been many developments.

Home care with part-time aides was not sufficient when Mom was released from the hospital -- even with the hospital bed, oxygen, and wheelchair that was supplied to us.

It turns out that spending eight days in the hospital drained what was left of Mom's energy and strength. She could no longer walk or even stand up; she now needed 24- hour care.

So she went back to the hospital while we looked for placement in a nursing home.

Fortunately, we got her admitted to the best one in the borough- and only a ten minute drive from my brother.
The family members all celebrated our good fortune in making that happen.

Once in the nursing home, Mom's 94-year-old feistiness was on display regularly. She told me of the medical team who came to examine and evaluate her. "One of them was very short and he didn't look a day over 15.". " Everyone was treating him with respect, as if he were a doctor". When he went to examine Mom, she said, "Don't put your hands on me."
" But I' m a doctor, " he replied.
"Not to me you aren't."

Last night, though, Mom was feeling severe shortness of breath, and she asked to be sent back to the hospital.
I got the call around 1am, and my brother went over to be with her in the ER.

This morning, when I walked into her area at the hospital, she said to me, " I made a choice yesterday. My breathing was very shallow, and I had the feeling that if I went for another twenty minutes that way, I would die. But I asked to be sent to the hospital instead. I couldn't do that to you, Sue.
Happy Birthday. "

She didn't want to die on my birthday.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Your experience with your mother touches my heart and brings back memories of an experience shared between her and my niece when Mom realized she'd not be alive to see her married.

    Although each challenge is unique, I understand the challenge to support ailing parents. And, I understand the will to live. And, sometimes despite that will, the body simply cannot hold out any longer.

    Keep loving on your Mom.

    83 days ago
  • NANCY-
    The will to live is amazing. What a beautiful gift your mom gave to you. Happy Birthday! I do feel sorry for that 15 yr. old doctor, hasn't your Mom seen "Doogie Howser M.D." ?
    83 days ago
    Aw, Sue. I can say I know exactly how that feels. Dad apologized he wouldn't make it to mine. He signed a card and gave it to me several days before he died. Exactly a week before.

    I think of you and your family often.
    83 days ago
    I am enduring my mother's decline, too, dealing with hospitals and memory care. Grab those lovely moments!!
    83 days ago
    Awwww... That's such a poignant story. I'm glad you were able to spend your special day with your mother, who wanted to make sure she survived another day to share it with you.

    Happy Birthday, Sue!

    83 days ago
    Such a lovely story of a loving mother . . . I love her feistiness and determination!! She knew what she needed and she made it happen.

    Oh, this is a difficult passage: but she is still making good memories!
    84 days ago
    OH SUE. I am glad that you alerted me that the blog you wrote wasn't finished. Oh my. Went thru that type of thing w/my parents, too. I pray that she is comfortable and offering prayers for you for peace, too. That's touching that your Mom asked to go to the hospital rather than what she felt was the inevitable.

    HUGS and prayers for you AND your Mom.
    84 days ago
    I am so sorry to hear this. It is certainly not the way I imagined you spending your birthday. I am sending a prayer for you and her emoticon
    84 days ago
    Oh, Sue, what a challenge. Hope the needed services fall into place for your family. emoticon

    Edited now that full blog is up: what a great mom you have (and a wise one)! Happy Birthday, indeed!

    And blessings on finding all those pieces and here's hoping for improvement for your mom and those angels to appear in a timely fashion with each decision you need.
    84 days ago

    Comment edited on: 3/1/2020 8:35:50 PM
    So sorry to hear about your Mom's decline. HOPE that the increased health help helps for her.
    84 days ago
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