Kinda Mad and Feeling Guilty About It
Thursday, April 16, 2020
Not much time to spend on this blog! I have a large project due for one of my classes and I should be working on that.
I just feel frustrated and need to say so! For the past couple of years, I've had a lot of circumstances that have impacted my lifestyle, and as a result, have gained back about 15 pounds. I wasn't working out much and wasn't tracking my food or trying to eat healthy, so this was understandable and I wasn't mad about it. I knew why it happened, and I thought I knew what I needed to do about it.
So, for the past 3 months, I have been tracking and keeping my calories in the weight loss range. I've also greatly stepped up my fitness, doing circuit training or riding the stationary bike six days each week. (These are among the only things I can do until I have my hip surgery in November.) I've been trying hard and not slacking or cheating very much. And yet, after an initial loss of 5 pounds, 3 of them are back and I can't seem to lose anything more. Instead, I'm moving in the wrong direction.
I'm very frustrated right now, and I also feel guilty even worrying about my weight when people are fighting for their lives and struggling to survive economically. I know I'm very blessed, and it's my job to share help and hope with people, so I try very hard to stay positive. But darn it, this makes me mad! I don't like gaining, but when I'm not working out and eating badly it at least makes sense. But now that I'm doing the "right" things, it's pretty discouraging to be getting heavier instead of lighter.
That is all.