"Everyday may not be a good day but there is good in every day."
"I'm not sure that's what they mean by 'now reduce the wine'."
Accountant – Someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.
Auditor – Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
Banker – The fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)
Economist – An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
Statistician – Someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
Actuary – Someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
Programmer – Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.
Mathematician – A blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn’t there.
Lawyer – A person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a “brief”.
Psychologist – A man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
Schoolteacher – Is some one who likes children. A royal baby sitter.
Consultant – Someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
Diplomat – Someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
It's Remember Me Thursday! Let's remember the pets that are left behind in shelters for many reasons. Observed on the 4th Thursday of September, today raises awareness of pets in the shelters and encourages all to consider adoption of these abandoned pets. If you can't adopt, consider donating as shelters around the country are impacted greatly by the pandemic.
--Festival of Latest Novelties Day: we've all fallen for them at some time, those odd-ball creations that don't have much function; the first novelty is seen in the 1500's to 1600's as a wine glass that lets you see the people around you as you drink up; in more recent history, we've had Big Mouth Billy Bass; what's your favorite (or favorite to groan at)?
--Gallbladder Good Health Day: today is to educate about this part of our digestive system that works with the liver and learn about risks related to weight and diet.
--Lash Stylists' Day: today is a salute to the professionals who help us have the lush full lashes we desire and help us look our best.
--National Bluebird of Happiness Day: a salute to the North American native bird that has long been mentioned in book and song as a harbinger of happiness and love; the association of the bluebird to happiness appears to come from the folklore of ancient Lorraine, an area in France.
--National Cherries Jubilee Day: a salute to a glorious dessert made with black cherries flambeed with kirsch or brandy and then served on vanilla ice cream; originated by a royal baker for Queen Victoria either on her Golden Jubilee in 1887 or her Diamond Jubilee in 1897, history isn't clear.
--National Familial Hypercholesterolemia Day: today is to raise awareness of FM, a genetic disorder that causes early heart disease; it causes high cholesterol even in infants.
--National Punctuation Day: grammar police, rejoice as this is your day to reign supreme as punctuation is a part of grammar; a day to pay closer attention to your colons, semi-colons and such.
--Schwenkfelder Thanksgiving Day: the Schwenkfelders are part of the Pennsylvania Dutch which are descendants of a Protestant sect in Germany and have celebrated this holiday since 1734 when they safely arrived to the Americas.
--World Gorilla Day: a fairly new holiday, today's sponsors are rallying to bolster appreciation and action for these great apes; today commemorates when, in 1967, Dian Fossey established the Karisoke Research Center; there are only about 1000 mountain gorillas in the wild making them critically endangered due to poaching, destruction of habitat and human conflict.
--World Maritime Day: observed on the last Thursday of the September; today is a day to celebrate the maritime industry's contribution to the world's economy; 90% of global trade relies on shipping.