Checking in

The scale is still in the same place, but my waist and hip measurements are reducing.

I am focusing on lunch - making sure I eat lunch and that it is a nice enjoyable meal. I have a tendancy to skip lunch which then results in very unhealthy snacking.

Cycling ten minutes a day has been a good, achievable goal. I am now itching to start running, but my stomach still does not feel right. I'm practicing the discipline of 'saying no'. I am doing a bit more yoga, which is making me more aware of how weak my stomach muscles are - I can't feel them, yet, or they're not in the normal place, yet. Even there, I'm needing to modify poses so that I don't injure myself further.

This is a slow recovery and I need to be more patient. I'm still enjoying my walks, sometimes doing indoor walking if I don't get out.

More conscious of my eating. Although the scale is not going down, I can tell from the tracking that I am doing that I am not eating less calories than I need to. I can see that dinner time eating will need some major rethinking to get to a realistic calorie intake to lose weight. My snacking has definitely improved and I'm proud of myself for that. It's not perfect, but I am feeling some huge emotions and so I can see why I'm reaching for the chocolate.

Firstly, this weekend I realised how hard I'm finding things. I accepted that two children was hard and that I am struggling to find the balance.

Secondly, we are talking about the next steps in our lives, and this again is very hard. More moving, but ensuring the well-being of our children and questioning how my career will fit in with things - these are hard thoughts.

Thirdly, thinking about going back to work and daycare. I know I'm not the only mum who struggles with loving her job but also loving her children and wanting to invest completely in both, when there simply aren't the hours in the day. I cannot do it all. Another hard truth to face.

Every time I say 'no' to a piece of chocolate, the thoughts and emotions hit me, and facing them, feeling them, acknowledging them, is hard. Especially as some of these issues are not going to go away.

So, I'm at a point of patience. I'm monitoring healthy habits, I'm not gaining weight, and I'm feeling more confident that eventually the scale will start to drop again.