Monday, September 23, 2013      5 comments

This has been the worst summer of my life. Dramatic, but true statement. I got a job, after many doubts and fears. And I liked it a lot! I had a very ugly episode with a member of a family. Has me shaken ever since. Then my father starte... Read more
I am so scared, so cornered
Thursday, April 05, 2012      17 comments

I wish I were free!!!! I live on this island, such a pretty island...My dog is so happy here. I love this island, and I hate it, too. I live with my dad. I am 40yo. Unemployed. I can only get summer jobs, low paid, over tourist season. I ne... Read more
I should forgive myself
Wednesday, November 30, 2011      14 comments

It isn't easy at all. I sit here, sit and aet so much I can barely move. Full blown regression. Has been like that for months. Spring came with happy news, summer killed me, fall - my dearest fall, I am spending hating my life. If not for ... Read more
Thursday, October 27, 2011      7 comments

I just spelled it out for myself. The reason I got fat again, the reason I have trouble picking the ball up again. So to say. Because nothing changed. Told myself just now, you got to do it for yourself, nobody will do it for you. And I sta... Read more
so... OK
Friday, October 21, 2011      10 comments

I'm back to 100kg. OK. I will get better. I'll make myself better. The summer was ugly. Broke me. Hard job, the surgeries, all the weight lost in a year... May be the combination of all this that broke me so badly. May also be that I didn't kn... Read more
Thursday, September 01, 2011      9 comments

I can not describe how I feel. But maybe the number would make it clear to some of you. I got all this weight on in just a couple of months. I "worked really hard on this". I just want to cry. I still have a month of this horrible job. ... Read more
one run
Monday, August 08, 2011      13 comments

Amazing what a 25min run can do! My sister is visiting for a week and helping at the house, so I managed to get up this morning and ...even though it was late, I managed to squeeze in a 3km run. I felt so great, had I the time, I'd ran a lot lon... Read more
Sunday, July 31, 2011      11 comments

I have gained 13.5kg. Some 30 pounds. Since February. Mostly in the last couple of months. I am not looking to make excuses. This is the fact. I have returned to the old way of dealing with problems - overeating. Stuffing myself on crap food.... Read more
no excuses
Tuesday, July 12, 2011      12 comments

I tell myself - no time - unhappy - stressed out to the max etc etc etc None of this is the reason to act like I have and gain weight and feel ever worse then I should. The job sucks, the money seams to be melting away, my dog got... Read more
working hard
Wednesday, July 06, 2011      6 comments

that's right it's summer, I'm vorking very long hours - time is a rare comodity not enough sleep, not regular on my fitness plan either drinking my water, logging in... doing poorly on my diet, really poorly and yeah...my dog isn't fee... Read more
not finnished!
Monday, June 20, 2011      9 comments

One doctor. Hundreds of people, both strangers and family and friends. All telling me to stop losing weight now. And how I look great! I am close. 11.5kg to goal. I was much closer but had gained some weight back in past 3 months. An... Read more
new hairdo - ela's. not mine :)
Thursday, June 09, 2011      10 comments

My dog finally got her haircut and, as far as I can see, it did help and she is relieved and not as hot as she used to be. This morning, on our run, it seemed so. Definitively. Now, this is just after the bath I gave her, and before we went t... Read more
having a few moments
Sunday, June 05, 2011      10 comments

...so I came here. I am waiting for the veggies for broccoli soup to be cooked and such so... I am having on and off binge days and today is a good day. his morning on my run, I passed another runner! I don't care if the man was older then me,... Read more
Thursday, June 02, 2011      9 comments

Have you ever had a perfect day? Or thought yourself perfect, even for a moment? Not me. I've had perfect moments. Some of the best were of later date, related to my working out. Lots of the perfect moments are because of Ela, my dog. ... Read more
Tuesday, May 31, 2011      10 comments

Ran, ran, ran...5k. That's enough for now. Did ST, 1 set of each workout. Brushed my dog. Sent Ela to get her hair cut. With extended notes, plus I drew a picture of my dog and showed how I want it done. LOL Made my b-fast and snacks to ta... Read more

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