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Welcome. A bit about me...

Another new year, 2010, another new start. I'm determined to make this year the one where I stay committed to getting healthy. Nothing is going to stop me now!

I live with recurrent major depression and anxiety, along with dissociative identity disorder, borderline personality disorder and obsessive compulsive personality disorder, all of which affect my day to day life. I'm a perfectionist with all or nothing, black and white thinking. I get overwhelmed easily, resulting in my giving up. I'm tired of living in the shadows of self hatred, doubt and unworthiness. I am slowly opening my wings to allow my inner beautiful swan to emerge with grace and dignity.

I'm not on a diet, I'm creating a permanent lifestyle change.

So, here's to becoming a swan!

June 1/09 Update: I had my hiatus hernia surgery on May 27th (laparoscopic nissen fundoplication surgery with collis gastroplasty). I came home from the hospital on May 31. For the next 8 weeks, until July 31st, I'm to eat pureed foods with the only exercise being light walking. I'm still going to work hard on getting healthy and look at this surgery as the catalyst that lit the fire under my butt!

Aug 31/09 Update: Back at it again. Weight rose to 238 lbs. I'm angry and disappointed, but also determined to get back on track. I'm on a new medication, Zyprexa, for my anxiety and it has really helped, but the side effects are constant sugar & carb cravings and slow metabolism. So, I've had to re-evaluate my goals and set my weight loss at a slower pace and focus more on getting active. I reset all my SparkPeople goals so I don't get trapped into ruminating about the past few months. Today is a new day, a new start, a new me!



"When inward tenderness finds the secret hurt, pain itself will crack the rock and ah! let the soul emerge." ~ Rumi

"Some of the greatest battles will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul." ~ Ezra Taft Benson

"Stop living life for what's around the corner and start enjoying the walk down the street." ~ Grant L. Miller

Member Since: 5/7/2008

Fitness Minutes: 31,465

My Goals:
lose 14 lbs by the end of March 2013

My Program:
brisk walking 8 km/day
low fat eating

Personal Information:
50 yrs old - married 30 yrs - 2 adult daughters 29 & 38 - 4 doggies - home is Vancouver Island, BC, Canada.

Other Information:
crochet, knit, read, learn new information from the internet & books, computer

Read More About 2BASWAN - Profile Information moved here. (Updated July 9)

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 current weight: 181.8 
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  • v _RAMONA
    I received this today, and I am DELIGHTED to pay it forward here because YOU deserve it as many times over!!!!

    *´¨¨)) -:¦:-
    ¸.♥ .·☆´¨¨)).·*¨)
    ((¸¸.♥´ ..·´ ☆**☆.¸¸.♥´

    Beautiful Woman Award!

    "The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. ...True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!" SAM LEVENSON

    When I ponder beauty, I think of YOU! Thank you for gracing my life with beauty!

    Once you've been given this award, you have to paste it on the wall of the deserving women in your life. Every one you receive is a jewel in your crown... you are Daughter of the King, and YOU ARE truely beautiful! Consider passing this on to the special women in your life... it's always good to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out!

    "You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD, and a royal diadem in the hand of your God." Is 62:3

    As always, YOU remain in my prayers... may you find peace within and all around you. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content. May the presence of Christ settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.

    May today and every day bring to you a ridiculous abundance of whatever you need. May all your concerns, struggles, anxieties and fears fall like ashes as you rise on eagle's wings, SOARING above all that would hinder you along this tremendous adventure of being and becoming all you are created to be. May the grace of God simply "overtake" you moment by moment. May the joy and victory of the risen Lord be yours in a very personal way... may you always be overwhelmed by the grace of God, rather than by the cares of life! AMEN.

    Much love &
    {{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}
    3840 days ago
  • v ANDREA0301
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    .......................oo `*•.¸¸.•*´
    ......................ooo Wishing you
    .....................oooo `*•.¸¸.•*´
    ....................ooooo The Blessings of
    ..................ooooooo ``*•.¸¸.•*´
    ................ooooooooo Love, Health &
    ...............oooooooooo Happiness!
    ........................0 *•.¸¸.•*´``*•.¸¸.•*´
    -:¦:- (( • Merry Christmas! • )) -:¦:-

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3873 days ago
  • v no profile image CHOCMOM
    Just dropping by to say hi and see how you are doing? emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3955 days ago
  • v ANSING
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    Congrats! 28 pounds is a WONDERFUL loss!
    4070 days ago
  • v LEAKAY59
    emoticon Cathi! 28 pounds? WOW! What an achievement! I do have to assume (and hope) you haven't logged in your weight for a while? You're doing great!
    4070 days ago
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