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Welcome. A bit about me...

Another new year, 2010, another new start. I'm determined to make this year the one where I stay committed to getting healthy. Nothing is going to stop me now!

I live with recurrent major depression and anxiety, along with dissociative identity disorder, borderline personality disorder and obsessive compulsive personality disorder, all of which affect my day to day life. I'm a perfectionist with all or nothing, black and white thinking. I get overwhelmed easily, resulting in my giving up. I'm tired of living in the shadows of self hatred, doubt and unworthiness. I am slowly opening my wings to allow my inner beautiful swan to emerge with grace and dignity.

I'm not on a diet, I'm creating a permanent lifestyle change.

So, here's to becoming a swan!

June 1/09 Update: I had my hiatus hernia surgery on May 27th (laparoscopic nissen fundoplication surgery with collis gastroplasty). I came home from the hospital on May 31. For the next 8 weeks, until July 31st, I'm to eat pureed foods with the only exercise being light walking. I'm still going to work hard on getting healthy and look at this surgery as the catalyst that lit the fire under my butt!

Aug 31/09 Update: Back at it again. Weight rose to 238 lbs. I'm angry and disappointed, but also determined to get back on track. I'm on a new medication, Zyprexa, for my anxiety and it has really helped, but the side effects are constant sugar & carb cravings and slow metabolism. So, I've had to re-evaluate my goals and set my weight loss at a slower pace and focus more on getting active. I reset all my SparkPeople goals so I don't get trapped into ruminating about the past few months. Today is a new day, a new start, a new me!



"When inward tenderness finds the secret hurt, pain itself will crack the rock and ah! let the soul emerge." ~ Rumi

"Some of the greatest battles will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul." ~ Ezra Taft Benson

"Stop living life for what's around the corner and start enjoying the walk down the street." ~ Grant L. Miller

Member Since: 5/7/2008

Fitness Minutes: 31,465

My Goals:
lose 14 lbs by the end of March 2013

My Program:
brisk walking 8 km/day
low fat eating

Personal Information:
50 yrs old - married 30 yrs - 2 adult daughters 29 & 38 - 4 doggies - home is Vancouver Island, BC, Canada.

Other Information:
crochet, knit, read, learn new information from the internet & books, computer

Read More About 2BASWAN - Profile Information moved here. (Updated July 9)

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 current weight: 181.8 
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    Welcome back Cathie!
    I would like to also welcome you to our team The BL At Home Challenge! Please drop in and introduce yourself at the introduce yourself thread. You are welcomed to post on the discussion board so the team can get behind you and motivate you to your end goal!
    Jo emoticon
    Team Leader
    4832 days ago
    Hi Cathie,
    Thanks so much for being the first one to contribute to the IOWL Spark Team and my page. I think I have underestimated how valuable this support is. I actually think of our Team when I make my choices during the day. Just knowing that there's someone else struggling with the same issues is powerful. When we know better, we'll DO better, right?
    Keep in touch!
    4833 days ago
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