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Me and my grandson Isaiah

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The little love and light of my life!

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My Inspiration...Family!

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"True commitment begins when we reach the point of not knowing how we can possibly go on and then decide to go another way." And so it begins...true is a big word for me!

Is this not the sickness....expecting to lose 3-5 pounds per week and to look and feel very different right away...to be able to deny myself food? Again, I know that is not reasonable!! Yet...I start I stop. Then the stop is keeping me from starting. I know what IS reasonable is to lose about one pound per week, eat a little healthier, exercise and take several months to show a big difference. So to know and not to do, is really not to know. To learn and not to do is not to learn. Herein lies the insanity for me...

Some days I feel like I am doing the best that I can. That I will make my goal in time and I dont have to be perfect to be wonderful. Most days, I feel like total crap and a complete failure. That I am succeeding at things that dont matter....and it's time to take care of myself!!!

This journey isnt easy for me....this is the first website that I stumbled on that may be an answer. Perhaps will soon come the knowing that it does take time and that it wont change everything about me, just my weight. This brings up both sadness and fear....and HOPE for the first time in a long time! I'm sick and tired of acting like everything is okay...when it is NOT!

What I do know is It's time to begin taking care of myself! I want to feel integrated, balanced, and vibrant...the little voice that is whispering louder and louder on the inside of me.."you can do this!". To experience the kind of things I am reading about real lifestories here on this website...I want to experience life and live to it to its fullest...and to hear it echo that it's NOT TOO LATE!

I just heard a saying the other day that "most people overestimate what they can do in a month and underestimate what they can do in a year". I am sick of solutions that have not worked. I know its about choice....I accept that I have made myself miserable. I sound like such a victim. I am sick of feeling sick of feeling sick about feeling sick...this is SICK!!!

The journey begins today...I CANNOT DO THIS ALONE ANYMORE!

I welcome all encouragement, comments and feedback ...Thanks for letting me "dump" this and get it all out ... I've read a few profiles and decided it's time for me to put my story out here and begin...today!

I have come to the realization that before I can really lead others well... I must first lead myself well.

I can no longer act like everything is A-okay when people are looking and miserable when I am alone... Time to get real and quit being a phony. Time to take care of myself and GET A GRIP!

Someone recently said to me that I was totally "wired for joy"... thus my name here ... and really really making "one choice at a time"!

Member Since: 1/7/2008

Fitness Minutes: 60

My Goals:
Saying more than Doing...

I will live each day with courage and a strong belief in myself and others.

I will strive to keep commitments not only to myself, but others.

I will be renewed and energized by my own personal victories.

I will make my own choices and accept responsibility for my decisions.

I will manage my thoughts and emotions for my own well-being and growth.

I am a healthy and safe person and have established good boundaries for myself.

I will not make excuses or blame others.

I am flexible and fluid in my approach to others.

I will keep my mind and body healthy and strong.

I will go through my day with a smile on my face.

I choose to have a positive and contagious attitude.

I will help others the very best I can and thank those who help me along the way.

I will reach out to my family and community and
be a good steward of my affections, time,

My Program:
Begin with support from people here who are REAL and going through the FIRE ...and those who are ahead who will reach out their hand and help me across the bridge....and for the ones to extend a hand when I fall down and help me up!

Personal Information:
I live in Overland Park, KS.

Up until a year ago, I would not speak about my age. Up until now, I never posted my actual weight....well...new beginnings!

I am at the starting line...

I believe in God and Jesus Christ is the Way, the Truth and the Light...because of the Cross and His Blood...I am saved! And with Him and through Him...ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!

Other Information:
I have a chip to believe the best of people and yet I do not believe that for myself...that is about to change!

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    just stopping in to say "hi". hope you are enjoying a fun summer :)
    4395 days ago
  • v DENISE223

    I saw your page and wanted to say that I love your quote:

    "True commitment begins when we reach the point of not knowing how we can possibly go on and then decide to go another way."

    It really IS time to take care of ourselves : ) . When we do that, we can be there for others more fully. We really CAN do this -- it's not out of our reach. (When I say those things, I am saying them to myself as well).

    For me, it's not about getting into a certain size or being a certain weight. It IS about being fit AND healthy, no matter the number on the scale.

    Like you, my desire is to experience all that life has to offer and to live it to the fullest -- It's not too late, I'm sure of that. :)

    Wishing you and yours a happy & peaceful day,


    4433 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/6/2009 12:13:06 PM
  • v SPARKLE2011
    Hi There~

    Just wanted to stop by and wish you and yours a Happy New Year!

    Haven't seen you on the Just Do It thread in some time... hope everything is going well for you.

    4590 days ago
    I am back home after my father's surgery and recooperation. He is doing well and I can focus back on my life and the schedule revolving around my children :)

    Merry Christmas!!!!

    4599 days ago
    it's great to hear from you. I've been thinking about you too. I found out that my father had a heart attack back in August and I have been focused and talking to him as much as possible and he will have to have a trip bypass surgery. I've been so worried about him that I haven't been on sparks much. My last weigh in was on Monday and I am currently 184 lbs. I keep hovering in the low 180s and can't seem to make it to the 170s. I've let go of my determined strength and need it find it again for this weigh loss journey. I'm trying my hardest to only gain a little here and there and give up completely. I'm working on staying in the 180s and not gaining to the 190s for now until I can put my strength on my weight again and not towards my Dad's major surgery and health problem.

    Hope you have a good Halloween!


    4651 days ago
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