Sunday, March 30, 2008
O.k.....Time for me to get real.I always start a program full of energy and ppumped for success,then I almost always fall away and seem to stop caring!What is wrong with me and why do I do this to myself!I have gained back most of what I have lost so far I just havent gone in and changed my ticker yet! I keep procrastinating!
I have come to realise from the prodding of some posts and some good spark friends that I am actually afraid of what life will be like if I actually loose the weight once and for all! I have used my weight as an excuse not to have to face certain things and I know now that I cant continue doing that!In my previous blog I was saying how I was done with being fat.....done with all this crap that makes me unhealthy and unhappy but I dont think I really dealt with all of the underlying issues!My self esteem is a huge issue......not because I am overweight but because I dont believe in myself enough! So ..,how do I overcome my own fears and my own lack of self worth....I am so good at telling others to believe in themselves!
I guess its time to put the work in to me! I am gonna need a few friends to give me a kick in the butt when they see me starting to say that I am faultering.........and I will say so! I need to see changes in my mind set......permanent changes not just ...pumped up this week and wishy washy next week!...I have a couple of challenges started with a couple of friends and I am deciding right now that I am going to do well on those challenges! I cant be good to the others in my life if I am not good to me!Make me accountable my spark friends....and maybe soon I will be better at being accountable to my self!...oops not maybe......I WILL be more accountable to my own well being!