over-eating and self destruction...no more!
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
I am thinking as I post this morning about my last blog and where my mind has been lately! In the past I have assisted a friend in taking care of the ladies in a group home she runs! These women all have varied emotional difficulties and yet many of them are awesome ladies who,just like you and I have been affected my lifes situations and felt that they couldnt cope! A few of them are cutters and have been self injurious as a means of escape! I used to wonder how anyone could ever do that to themself but the more I am learning the more I realise what some of their triggers are and how that girl who hurts herself could potentially be anyone! Any friend who never tells you how hurt she is inside by all the bad and sad things in her life!(or his) A person pushed so far by the pain in their life that making themself hurt actually makes them feel alive! Its a difficult thing to understand and it must be such a difficult thing to experience!
My friend made a comment the other day that really got me to thinking about this self injurious behaviour as compared with over eating and not excersising! Seriously if you really think about it,for some of us our binge eating and lack of excersise has become a self destructive pattern! My blood pressure,my cholesterol ,my heart and my swollen veins are all parts of my body that I am injuring due to my excessive eating and lack of physical activity! So when I take a serious look at myself and start to evaluate my motives and what makes me do the things I do or the things I seem to NOT do..........I really realise that I am only hurting myself! So many of us have some kind of pain or disappointment burried deep inside of us! Some people have come to a place where they recognise that pain and have dealt with it appropriately and some of us have not! I eat and wallow in the "poor little me" thoughts , when I am not handling my pain properly and I dont want to be that kind of person! I accept that some bad things have happened to me in this life but if I am to ever overcome this overeating thing I have to accept what has happened,acknowledge that those things are my past,not my present and definitely not my future and move past it. I am not just the woman who had this stuff happen to her I am so much more than that! I will excersise control over this mind of mine and I will choose to make better decisions for my health! I will not allow myself to injure my body in this way any longer! Life is too short to waste another minute of it! So.....here I go......onward and upward! I might start to feel a bit down again ,after all,it happens but I will not let those feelings control me,I WILL CONRTOL MY FEELINGS!
Its a new day! Thanks to everyone who reads. I hope you find it enlightening!