WILDFIREEYES

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On the Road Again

Friday, April 03, 2009

This week, my husband and I are taking our little spring break vacation. We're going where we always go: Virginia. My aunt lives just outside of DC, and we like to spend time with her and go see all the FREE attractions in the city. DC is great!

But, at the same time, I'm dreading it a little. While my aunt is a wonderful, caring person who would do anything for me, she also makes me feel pretty terrible sometimes.

My aunt, you see, is a dietitian.

I spent my summers in Virginia with her and my grandfather (who passed away over Christmas). Since I was young, she's been on my case with eating less and exercising more. She always told me I was a big girl. I got comments from her and my grandfather about my weight. One day, I went to play in the sprinkler with the girl across the street. My grandfather said, "Be careful. A girl your size shouldn't be running around in this heat!"

I have a picture from that exact day. I don't look like a "big girl." I don't even look chubby! But that's been in my head since the day it happened. I still think everyone looks at me and sees a "big girl." In our drama ministry at church, I go out on stage to do a drama, and I assume everyone's looking at me saying, "There's that chubby girl again." No matter how many people reassure me that that's not what people see, it's what I see.

While I enjoy visiting with my aunt, I always worry how I'll feel when I leave. What will she say to make me feel bad about myself? How many times will she nag me about portions? How many times will she call my son "chubby" in a way that sounds like she thinks there's something wrong with him?

I just need your prayers for an enjoyable vacation. We'll be doing a lot of walking (I'll take my pedometer with me!), but I may not have many other opportunities to do the high-cardio exercising I've been doing. Just pray that I stay on track, don't let my aunt get to me, and don't let my hard work go to waste!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SECRETEATER
    We all have been able to see the real you, and there are a lot more of us on your side than your aunt's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are team Wildfireeyes, So there! emoticon SE
    4420 days ago
  • DEB2448
    I understand where you are coming from. With me it is my Dad that is always putting me down, because of my weight or making the rude remarks. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you have a wonderful vacation.
    4422 days ago
  • HAIRFIXER1
    I am really sorry that your Aunt has that effect on you. People can really mess us up and I don't know if they realise it or they are just that insensitive. I have an aunt and we were talking about one of my friends and she made a comment on how much weight she had gained and she said" i bet you even feel skinny around her" THE NERVE. I try to ignore her but it still cuts deep. But one thing positive about your aunt, most people visiting family are worried about eating to much or their family feeding them the wrong kinds of food. Does not sound like that is going to be a issue. HAVE FUN AND TRY TO KEEP POSITIVE.
    Best of luck and have fun.
    4423 days ago
  • PEPPERLEAH
    Isn't it odd how comments made to us as children really DO affect our lives? I remember people telling me for most of my life to ignore such comments. Easier said than done, especially when you have heard those comments more than once.

    Hang in there, and remind yourself daily that no matter HOW you look to anyone else, or WHAT anyone else has ever said, you have always been and will always be precious in the eyes of our Heavenly Father!

    emoticon

    Leah
    4423 days ago
  • NOMORESTALLING
    oh man do I know where you're coming form ALL my childhood I was exposed to the same thing! I was known as big boned, chubby, chunky, and you're right that stays with you. It totally influences who you become! It leaves a psychologcal "scar"
    So now we beat it! We're adults with our own minds, our own choices and our own consequensences! No more head "games" I'm doing it for ME You do it for YOU. It's our health our bodies. And we choose what to put into it and what to do to it to be as healthy as we can be. They have that same choice.
    4423 days ago
  • SPARKLINGHOPE
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    4423 days ago
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