Body, weight, food & relationships

Thursday, May 21, 2009

There has been some more open talk around me about the changes in my body. Of course the most common statement/question is something like, "you have lost weight(?)". My response (oddly enough) is some but mostly just inches. And that is kidn of the truth. Actually, according to the tape measure I haven't lost inches, the scale says I have lost 5 lbs. It doesn't matter which one "matters"... my body is different and better in mind.

My clothes are fitting better and I am excited about pulling out my summer gear. I might even put on a bathing suit this summer. Shorts are going to worn regularly too!

As a result of the small changes I feel even more confident about working on losing weight. I believe that as I continue to work on changing my body the weight will eventually come off. The workouts are gettig to be much more of a habit (when do they become obsessions or addictions?). If not yet a habit, they are surely a priority. That is what is changing my body. And I will continue to do it, to continue change my body.

The difficulty/challenge continues to be food and relationships (with food and people).

So much of socialization and relationship building has to do with what is historically called "breaking bread together". It can literally be a meal (sharing lunches and dinners), or it can be more of a business interaction (meetings w/meals). There are also celebrations. Can you thing of any that are not marked with some kind of food or meal associated with it? And even if you aren't sharing meals, there are always our drinking buddies - and I'm not talking tea parties.

It is particularly hard to get friends and family to even try a gathering that isn't slathered in alcohol, cheese, chips or roasted meat with gravy and sides. We may be asked to bring a dish, but never (will it) has it been suggested to bring your OWN picnic or "brown bag" it. That just wouldn't be hospitable, now would it?

Both of my parents are still alive. The haven't been married to each other for a LOOOONNNNNG time. When I was younger (with fast metabolism) the double holidays were fine. What could possibly be wrong with 2 Thanksgivings and 2 Christmases? I'm sure you get my point. In addition there are the celebrations of birthdays (my Dad has quarterly gatherings to celebrate them), annual events ("THE Cookout"), funerals... and as LP's (love presents) my father still gives me chocolate - even after I have asked and told him not to. Then he tries to negotiate the candy giving. What is that about?

My mother has always been a wonderful cook. She has made Sunday dinner for 45 of the 52 Sundays of every year for the last 10 years I'm sure. I have even told her that she doesn't have to cook. Well, why wouldn't she? On top of all of that her motto: Everything is better with butter! emoticon There really is no other way in her mind. It has finally gotten clear to me that she can just never understand how difficult it is for me to lose weight (she is a "Slimfast-er"--- YUK!), and so will never change how she does things.

My friends - "let's meet for drinks", "let's go to dinner", "let's do lunch". There are a few who live within a mile of my home. I say, "Call me next time you are going to walk, I'll meet you." No, I don't not go - they don't call! Ever! I even had a pilates party at a studio. (trying to role model) No one has thought of anything like that since.

So in some way I will always struggle with this relationships/food/relationshi
ps/food thing. Unless everybody just dies off - God forbid. And so there it is.

Ultimately, I will overcome, persevere, and have the health, weight and size that I want to have. It will take time; and my mother will have to be patient...even more patient than me!
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