Time! (Danger! Rant in Progress)
Monday, June 08, 2009
So when are people going to make my schedule a priority so that I can make it a priority?
What is it that everyone feels that I have to be a part of everybody's everything? Why can't I just stay home, or go to the gym, or for a walk, or make my own dinner MOST OF MY DAYS? Do I have to go to every funeral? Graduation? Birthday party? Cookout? And what is it that people feel that I should negotiate my own time for their events & activities? Why isn't "thank you for the invite, i'm unavailable" an acceptable answer? I tell people often "No, is an acceptable answer!" Am I the only one who feels that way?
I finally got the chance to clean my living room and dining room this weekend. Only because I have guests coming for the week. DH & I started talking about why we couldn't keep our house in this condition regularly. Then it hit us... we really haven't had an unscheduled weekend in months. The day that I did yard work all day (becuz everyone who drives/walks by sees that) he was at a funeral. Before that graduation parties, and more funerals. And let's not forget WORK! Which is what I ended up doing today instead of visiting my Mom like I usually do on Sunday (that is NOT a good trend to start).
Hell- now that my house is clean, and my yard more presentable, maybe I'll have the party and make people negotiate their time to come to my house. But, when would I possibly fit it in the schedule?!
I know, I know - to whom much is given, much is expected; and Enjoy being loved and wanted, it might not always be this way.
Still! Can I have a week to myself, maybe just 4 days? And not to go anywhere! Just for a "staycation"! PLEASE!! To take care of me - to pay attention to my goals and make my plans? I don't even want any one to help. Why? Because I might have to fit some reciprocal something in to show my appreciation. THAT is not appreciated....
Do I sound frustrated?