I think I need a break...
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Recently I've been doing some soul-searching. This past week I was back to work for a week at a temp job and it made me realize how out of control my obsession with SparkPeople has become.
I find myself obsessing over getting all my food entered as soon as possible to find out if I'm in my range for calories as well as falling into the appropriate ranges for carbs, fats, proteins and calicum. I've also become obsessed with making sure I get my cardio entered to make sure I've burned enough calories, only this week was different. Because I didn't have all day to while away online entering things at my leisure and tweaking things to make sure I'm getting the right amounts of everything not to mention my cardio efforts have dropped significantly. I like to have a decent amount of food every day and if I don't do my cardio the way I was before (i.e. at least 60 minutes of really good-quality, hard-working efforts) then I don't feel I can eat as much, which thoroughly depressed me as I could only manage to get in the very minimal of about 40-50 minutes each day via my walking to and from train stations and around town during my lunch hour.
Anyway, my husband is the one who made me realize this is getting ridiculous. Specifically the amount of time I spend on SP. I seem to sneak on several times a day, even at work, to read stories, reply to message boards, do research on new foods I want to add to my meal planner, etc.
Add on top of that my little project to try and weigh myself every day this week to finally solve the big mystery of why I seem to go up and down from 3-5 lbs every week and never seem to be getting anywhere, and you've got one very obsessed and depressed woman!
I've just recently received the last of my SparkDiet State emails saying I've obtained my goal of learning to live a healthy lifestyle and that technically I don't really need to be tracking my food anymore since I am probably familiar enough with the correct portions and what proportion of various foods I need each day. Well, the thought of not being able to come online and log everything in every day made me feel almost panicky and I realized I've definitely got a problem! My husband agreed when I talked with him about it and I think for now it's best I take a little bit of time away from SP and see if I can continue my healthy lifestyle for real (I really think I can do it as I feel I've done quite well eating healthily most days and don't really identify with those who have trouble resisiting the bad foods or not being motivated to exercise) so I think it's time.
Don't worry, I won't be too far away. I may come online to look up info or pick up some new ideas and of course I want to keep in touch with all my Spark Buddies and see how you're all doing. Adios for now...