DAKOTASMOMMY_07
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..just tired,and lonely..

Sunday, June 21, 2009

ok so i have a lot on my mind..
first off i havent seen my husband in 2 months!
we need to connect,we need to talk.i dont mean about anything bad.just need to be together,b/c i miss him so much right now.i know its hard on him.its hard on me as well.i hate it when i know hes coming home,and i vision this great time we have together..a date..romantic night,u know..then we end up arguing over something so stupid.
when the time comes for him to leave again,we r both in tears,b/c we spent time arguing over meaningless stuff!
i have to change our pattern.this time we need more precious moments. emoticon

i have this friend..who by the way is driving me insane.she has a boyfriend who is married.she left him for another man who is also married!! emoticon
i wont go into details,b/c its her business.but i dont wanna hear about this,i mean the guy has 6 kids,and is leaving his wife for her!this just sickens me!
i feel for the wife,and those children.
i know there r many people everyday who get divorced.
im gonna be honest,and a lot of people probably wont like it,but divorce just doesnt register with me.it doesnt fit.i dont understand it!
if u love someone enough to marry them,take vows in front of GOD. then u should be able to work through things.point blank..
now i know sometimes really bad things happen,and one person just wont work through it,or one person does something soooo horrible,thats completely different.
when u r going to leave ur wife,and ur children to be with someone else..that doesnt register with me!! i dont get the concept.i know sometimes women leave as well.not as often,but it does happen.
maybe y i am so upset over this is b/c i am married,and i just want to tell my friend this isnt right! and how i would feel if this happened to me.
as i said though this is her business,just wish she would go after someone who isnt married! too bad i have to hear about it.
ok so i thought i got it all out..not. how can someone go from loving u more than anything,and be the one person u know will never hurt u..to being the person who hurts u the most? to..just not loving u at all.
u hear people say,people grow..they change..bull sh*t.
ok now i am done.i guess u can say i have been hurt a lot.so this whole issue is really making my skin crawl.
im just going to pray about it.
sorry for going on,and on.i just needed to vent.i know not everyone agrees with my point of view.im just different,maybe not right i guess.lol,thats the only way i can put it.

as far as my weight loss,i am doing great.im only a couple pounds away from -50 lbs.! which is amazing for me.in the beginning i remember saying i could never lose even 20 lbs.i thought if i ever did lose 50,i would be happy ,and stop..ok i dont think so..im going all the way,now that i know what in the hell im doing,lol! on the days i cant get going,i think of one person who hurt me,or just said something certain.and it gets me pumped im ready to kick some as*..then i get my heart rate up,and burn those calories.
thanks for letting me vent.god bless my spark family.christina emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • CHAIRUL
    It doesn't matter if anyone agrees with you on these issues...what IS important is that you have a place like Spark to vent,that you know people out there in Cyber-land read your thoughts and that we care....
    Congratulations on your weight loss and the next time you get to see your hubby,give him an extra-special Spark hug! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4347 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2244005
    Congratulations on the weight loss - you have done a terrific job! Proud of ya gal! Don't stop now, you're on a roll! And an inspiration to the rest of us.

    I liked Nemo's advice for hubby - decide if the argument is that important, if it is, discuss calmly, if it's not, don't discuss. As someone who just celebrated 35 years of marriage on May 25th I can say that I came into the marriage believing it was forever, and like I sometimes tell my husband when I'm mad at him - he's just lucky a perfect man hasn't come along and swept me off my feet! (Fat chance of a perfect man coming along! LOL) I also can't abide cheaters - they ruin not only their lives, but the lives of those around them.

    Hope you have a great week. Give your son a hug - he's the best present your hubby gave you!

    emoticon

    Lynn

    One more thing - does hubby have a computer in the truck? laptop? one with a webcam would be great - it would enable you to have chats with him when he' s not on drive time.
    4348 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/21/2009 5:56:43 PM
  • SKINNYINMYHEAD
    One more thing - CONGRATULATIONS ON THE WEIGHT LOSS!!
    4348 days ago
  • SKINNYINMYHEAD
    Okay, talk about hitting a nerve!! I will not be in a friendship with anyone who is screwing around with someone who is married. Period. Why? For the same reason I would not be friends with someone who is dealing drugs! I've had all the "judgmental" conversations.. blah blah blah. For me it's not about judgement.. I ended a friendship with someone because after six months of hearing about her sneaking around with a married man - I had had enough. It made me feel.. well.. filthy. Her behavior was hers - and had she kept it to herself that would have been one thing - but she didn't. She enlisted me in her clandestine behaviors.. I became a part (albeit unwittingly) of the drama and I finally said ENOUGH. He did leave his wife (of 18 years) and their three children. My friend moved in with him and that lasted about 3 months. Now, she's moved on to someone else because she couldn't trust him - NO %#&$!!

    People would not label me judgmental if my friend had been stealing clothes from a store and I ended the friendship - especially if she was sticking stolen merchandise in my bag. I get that everyone has different "lines" and if you (or anyone) wants to be friends with an adulterer (which is now seen as an "old fashioned" word) then no judgement from me - that's your business. To me, it's a matter of character. No one is perfect but everyone has a line for what they will or will not accept. My line is that I cannot have friends whose character allows them to be intentionally, premeditatedly deceitful - especially when the ramifications on families are enormous - ENORMOUS!!!

    As for divorce, it happens and if the man your friend is having an affair with is unhappy in his marriage - fine. Get divorced. Then he can pursue whatever types of women he'd like! Me? I came home (early from a trip) to find my 40+ year old husband in MY bed with an 18 year old girl - while his two children slept in their rooms!!! I learned enough about his character in that moment to file for divorce the same day. In the 12 months following this, I gained 100lbs. What had *I* done? Why couldn't he love me? Lord, I cringe now when I think about how I felt about myself - even though it had N-O-T-H-I-N-G to do with me. It's been four years now and I still cannot tolerate TV shows with cheating people - and believe me when I tell you that rules out a lot of TV. I've left more than one movie in the middle because I can't stomach it.... if this were still a crime it would NOT be put in the category of victimless crime. There are always a slew of broken people left behind. Wives and children. Parents. Grandparents. Everyone who loves the adulterer feels a sense of betrayal - including his friends. That it is presented through media as being "fun" and "harmless" just kills me.

    Alrighty then. Like I said - you hit a nerve. I have always felt this way about marriage. The friendship I ended happened prior to my own personal drama with adultery. I just do not understand making a commitment to another PERSON and taking it more lightly (and less consequential) than you would a loan contract. I just don't get it. Never will. There. I feel better. LOL.

    Final words.... your skin is crawling for a reason..
    4348 days ago
  • MARLY314
    I'm divorced but I wondered if I was doing the right thing the day I got married.
    I just want to say, try not to worry about your friend. When you see your hubby, tell him and show him that you love him and it will be alright.
    Stress has alot to do about our weight issues and all of this worrying won't help.
    Good luck.
    4348 days ago
  • DESERTPENGUIN
    Thank you for your blog. I fully understand what you mean about getting married and making a vow to God. That vow has helped me stay committed through some very hard times and brought me into a better place with my husband. We have been married 29 years. May you be blessed this time to have the best time of your life when your husband comes home.
    Sharon
    4348 days ago
  • THEGRACE2B
    Honestly, I would have to tell my friend I don't care for what she is doing. This guy needs to work out his problems, get divorced if he feels it's the only solution, and then call on your friend after the dust has settled after a year or so...she is setting herself up for a BIG letdown. Hang in there!
    4348 days ago
  • NEMOJAE
    I can really relate to what you are saying. What helped me with my hubby, was asking myself if the point I was trying to make was more important than him or our relationship. sometimes the point was important then I decided ,in order for him to really hear it I needed to present it differently. My hubby and I had a commuter marriage for 5 years, He was still working and I had relocated 800 miles away, so I know how important those times together are. Now about marriage I actually do feel its forever and we have to work at it , I also feel the best way to share that is to be a good example so people can start to say more often than not" I know a marriage that's working" Keep up the good work making yourself healthy Nemo
    4348 days ago
  • GRANNY1972
    I can totally relate to what you wrote in this blog. I am 55 and have been married almost 37 years. The last 10 years my hubby has worked for FEMA. He's usually gone for 2 or 3 months at a time but sometimes as much as 5 to 6 months. He'll be home for a week or so and then leave again. I get so excited when he calls and says he's coming home. I start counting the days. Then when he gets here, one of us says or does something stupid and we start arguing. We waste what precious time we have together fighting over stuff that doesn't make a bit of difference!! I finally decided to not let the little stuff get to me and just go with the flow and enjoy having him home. It makes our time together so much more pleasant for both of us.
    I can also relate to your situation with your friend. I had a girlfriend who was married and having an affair with a married man. She has 3 kids he has 4. I live out in the country and they wanted me to let them use my house to meet each other cuz no-one would see them. NO WAY!!! I didn't agree with what they were doing and I wasn't going to help them out one bit. After several months they both got divorced and they moved in together and it didn't last 6 months. I think half the fun for them was the sneaking around!!! They ruined 2 marriages and 2 families. My feeling is that marriage is for life. Sure, you're going to have your problems and your ups and downs, but you work through them and you stay together. I think it's too easy for people to get divorced these days. They even go into the marriage with the attitude that if it doesn't work out they can always get divorced!! If that's how you feel, don't get married in the first place.
    Congratulations on your weight loss!! You have done fantastic!! Mine isn't coming off very fast, but it's slow and steady. Keep up the great work!!
    4348 days ago
  • MARTANYDIATORRE
    Remember the 4 th of july is quite near.
    Have a good day.
    Marta Nydia
    4348 days ago
  • VEGEFARMER
    Hugs. I hope your darling hubby will be home soon and that you can have a nice time together. No point in sweating the small stuff and argueing over it.
    4348 days ago
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