Happy Fathers Day
Sunday, June 21, 2009
I called my dad for Fathers day. He is 82 and almost deaf. It makes for a difficult conversation. I haven't seen him in maybe 10 years. I miss him a lot. Mostly because I know he is in the last years of his life. I lost my mom in September so death is all to close in my mind. I won't cry when he dies. I don't do that. I just mourn for the lost of him. When he goes there will never be another like him. We are each an individual and I see that loss as the difficult part of dying. I am an atheist so I don't believe in a after life. I wish I could spend some time with him while he is here but that is impossible. Between money and my health it just won't work. So I take it one day at a time till I lose him.
i weighed in on Monday and found I lost below my first goal. I now have lost more then 50 lbs. Tuesday is my next weigh in date. My next big goal is to get below 300. I have a smaller term goal of 338.3. That will be 1/4 the way to my ultimate goal. My goal for Tuesday is just to lose. I take it one day at a time and don't get upset at the little things.
I tried to help a friend yesterday. I walked across the hall and then to the elevator. From there to her car. We drove to the gas station. I got out and filled her gas tank up. (She paid.) By then I was feeling funny. I last time I felt this way I ended up going to the hospital via an ambulance. Fortunately when I got home I checked my BG and BP and pulse I were fine. But it took about an hour before I felt OK. I had ate bad that day. Way to much pistachios. I think I may have ended up dehydrating myself. When I got home I drank about 6 cups of water before I felt OK. Well, today is another day. I decided the next time I buy pistachios I will buy them unsalted. I shouldn't of had that many anyway, the fat was off the charts.
What would I do without my family
This month my SSDI was lowered because Medicaid quit paying my premium for part A. They dropped me from 1081 to 792. I was living an the edge before because of credit card bills that I am paying off at 394 per month. I got a hold of my two of my brothers. (The other one is always broke but that's because he doesn't try to do better.) One of them is now sending me 50 per month to help. The other one just sent me 500.00. They are soooo wonderful.
Diabetes does run in my family
When I was talking to my dad I found out that diabetes does run in my family. That is the way it always happens in my family. No one talks about illnesses that are in our family tree till one of us gets it. I wish I had known that back when I was a teenager and I first started having indications. No one talked so I thought I did not have to worry. Now I have it and I will have it the rest of my life. Oh well, we live and learn.