DAKOTASMOMMY_07
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~what would you do?~

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

ok,ok i need some advice..of course i dont need to run out ,and by a new outfit every time i drop a size. emoticoneven though i would LOVE to..i would be wasting my money.
but just how long do i wait?
do many of u keep wearing clothes that r big on u?
shirts that r tooooo huge on me make me look like i have gained weight instead of lost weight.
i have checked on clearance racks..now that i have went down 3 pants sizes i cant find me a decent pair of shorts..oh but they have the size i use to wear,now this just PI%#ES me off! emoticon

do many of u get rid of clothes that u cant wear anymore? like to good will or something?
i want to..but its like something is holding me back,i dont know what it is.almost as if im afraid i will need them again emoticon

oh ya ,and another thing while i have u in here,lol..whats up with my friend wanting me to go to a buffet?
does she say anything about my many accomplishments? uh NO.
i mean come on when someone tells u they have dropped 64 lbs. u should say something!!
definitely not.."hey im taking u to a buffet".. i cant forget..
" oh it wont hurt u,u can eat it"
i dont expect my friends to jump up & down..but if it was them that has gone from eating only JUNK..sitting on the couch..not caring..blood sugar levels off the chart!
and now getting healthy,exercising on a regular basis, well i would praise them for their hard work ,and dedication.
oh well i will quit whining,thats y i have my Spark Family.
i just needed to vent..thanks for reading.
good night,god bless emoticon's..Christina emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • BIGGIRL2082010
    Hmm - haven't lost all that many dress sizes "upstairs", but boy, my pants are getting really loose (soon, I'll be able to put them on/take 'em off without undoing the buttons/zipper!) I've been fortunate in that I *do* have smaller pants that I was waiting to fit into and had bought on sale - so yay! But yes, I'm definitely going to be wearing the pants that are loose for a good while yet. I'm handy with a sewing machine, so I'll just take in the sides when I get really bored. :)

    In general, it's *much* nicer to be in clothes that fit, so if you can, do get at least *one* feel-good outfit per size. On sale if possible so you won't feel too awful when it gets too big for you! :)

    Cheers,
    Maya

    4295 days ago
  • ABRIDGESRNC
    If you have any real favorites among the clothes you have, they may be able to be altered. If you can sew, try it - if not, ditch them! I gave mine to a fried who had finally gotten down to the size I used to be. Buy new outfits slowly, and only what you really like - that way as you go on down, you won't have too much to keep cycling through.

    If you donate, remember to keep track for tax purposes. Also, there may be a "Dress for Success"-type program in your area - they are always looking for larger sizes to give women who are going out for interviews and getting jobs, if you have that kind of wardrobe.
    4296 days ago
  • SHEDDING123
    Lightening ones load in every way is a good thing, chuck (i mean DONATE) the cloths! I have gained and lost the same 15 lb several times over the past few years and it's had me going back and forth on the issue of getting rid of cloths for my different sizes. I held on for a long time. esp b/c geting clothing takes time and $$.....
    But this time, I've broken past the 15lb mark and also have gotten clear in a deeper place in my heart about lightening the load on me with a much bigger lifestyle change than can be measured in pounds.
    (You know, the whole spark package of cardio and ST, the lifestyle change...). ANd that's all wrapped up in a huge leap of faith and commitment to the core- so all I can say is that I feel much free-er for having given away the wrong sized clothing- free-er to be who I am now. It's affirmation and affirmation is more important than the old cloths which came to represent the opposite.....

    As for the friend who wants to go the the buffet, for sure I'd feel hurt at first, angry even. But there may be more to it possibly: when you lose weight and tap into your strength the whole system around you changes. The "friend" ought to be generous of heart and feel joy for your transformation. But maybe every pound that you've lost is a pound AWAY from the system you shared with her- if you ever shared junk food together etc. Maybe she is not so much jealous as lost.....Your change doesn't automatically change her...
    But I could be all wrong on all of this.
    But, even though it would be great to have her support, her lack of support may be one of those things that helps to cement the fact that you are doing this for wonderful YOU and your awesome family, your health and happiness. End of story.
    You are one awesomely impressive woman! Keep believing!
    4296 days ago

    Comment edited on: 8/12/2009 9:25:01 PM
  • PONYFARMER
    C~Let them go, the clothes that is. You are DONE with that size. Keeping them allows your stinking thinking to trap you into eating things that are not ok.

    The friend who wants to feed you is plain and simple, uncaring and thoughtless. Tell her you do not eat at places like that anymore, and if she cannot see why, then you are sorry but you will not be able to go. YOu are worth the truth, and the decision to eat at places that will benefit you new way of living.

    Love ya,
    D
    4296 days ago
  • GRANNY1972
    I have been giving my larger clothes to our church and to Goodwill. That way I know someone who really needs them will get them.

    As for your friend(??). When I lost a lot of weight several years ago, I noticed that my friends who were smaller than me were all very encouraging and celebrated every pound lost with me but my friends that were my size or larger never had a nice word to say about it. I think there is definitely a jealousy factor at play there. They are afraid your relationship with them is going to change because you're thinner, and the way they are treating you is the exact thing that is causing it to change!!!! A true friend should be your biggest cheerleader and be happy with all you've accomplished.
    4296 days ago
  • NEWBIEBAIT
    I kept a lot of my old small clothes so I postpone my urge to buy. I give my big clothes to goodwill or there's a sparkteam that trades clothes that are too big or small. I am going to keep my biggest set of pants and my biggest shirt for my after pictures. I already have the dress I want to wear next year emoticon
    A friend of mine is wanting to lose weight. I referred her to Spark but she says it's making her gain instead of lose and she feels awful, but at the same time she's shaking her finger at me for losing and to be frank, she hasn't been very friendly. Ah well, friends can be envious too. If someone doesn't want to work to get what they want, they'll make everyone who did work for it miserable.
    4296 days ago
  • no profile photo CD2244005
    I packed the clothes up and took them to Goodwill - there's no temptation to slide back up when you don't have the clothes to wear anymore! Just gives you the motivation to keep working to get more off!
    4296 days ago
  • MRSSHANNONC1970
    OK I have a comment here - BUY it, YES you dropped a size, you get something NEW and you wear the life out of it until you get the new size and need something new- dont laught but I did this with Victoria Secret underwear! LOL I could NEVER wear it, and then I was XL - and then an L and now a M - and well you see the pattern here????

    TREAT YOURSELF YOU DID IT!!!! YOU DESERVE IT!
    4296 days ago
  • no profile photo CHOCMOM
    Well Christina - everyone has said it all, nothing new here. I am just down 2 sizes and some of the second size are still tight, depends whether they are regular or women's sizes. I have bagged up most of the clothes that were size 20 and lots of my 18's. I WILL BE GETTING RID OF THEM.

    I occasionally wear something that is large on me - it does me good! emoticon But I am also wearing things that are tight. I do not have the money right now to buy clothes and I have plenty of old clothes, that are still in style, so I am going through them first. When I reach goal weight I want to go on "What Not To Wear" and get a $5000 shopping spree emoticon (of course I am dreaming.)

    As for friend - put your foot down - NO BUFFETs. I'd like to go to lunch with you but I DO NOT DO BUFFETS. "I am allergic to them". LOL. If she is a true friend, she will understand. BUFFETS are bad, bad, bad and have contributed significantly to the American Weight problem. I have people who say, "well you can eat just the salad bar", nope, not going to put myself in that situation!! Put your foot DOWN! emoticon

    Luv you girl - Rock on - you are a warrior - in soon to be new clothes!
    emoticon emoticon
    4296 days ago
  • AELI2468
    As many people have said - for the clothes - get rid of them! When I lost 140lb back in 2005/2006, I shopped A LOT at thrift stores. I had a circuit I would do about every 1-2 weeks. You would be amazed at the great stuff you can find, though it can be hit or miss.

    As for your friend, try not to be too upset. Keep this thought in mind: Every relationship you have is like a mobile (you know those toy things you hang over a crib for the babies to look at). As you lose weight, the mobile shifts and your relationships shift as well. Your friend may feel threatened by you changing and not know how to deal with it.

    Know that many sparkpeople friends are behind you 100%.

    ~elizabeth
    4296 days ago
  • 1PHATTGURL
    Ditch the clothes and the friend - the latter at least for a short period of time - that can be very damaging when you're trying to move forward. Sounds like jealousy to me. Let her know how you feel, if she doesn't get on board to support you, then she's not really a friend.

    Best to you


    4296 days ago
  • KATANNAH
    I have to agree with everyone... get rid of those clothes because you're doing more than gifting someone else who may be on their weight loss journey too... you are SHEDDING YOUR OLD SKIN. How freakin' cool is THAT?

    Recently I went through my closet and got rid of not only some very unflattering "fat" clothes, but also some things I always said I will wear again some day. Why? I know I will get back to that size, and when I do, I will buy new clothes. I don't need those clothes in my closet as a reminder. This was a recent epiphany.

    I have no idea if this applies to you, but I have always hoarded. As a child, I went from economically well off to poverty level and back again a couple times. So it was my nature to hoard and savor. Hence, a closet full of clothes that reassure me I will never go naked. AS IF??? My husband was appalled when I told him I figured out why they were all still there. The poor man thought I didn't trust him to keep working toward our financial goals while I work toward our household goals.
    emoticon

    Okay, so maybe I was scared, even after 10 years together. Cleaning out my closet told us both that I trusted him implicitly and if he ever needed help, I was right there for him... as soon as he bought me new clothes.
    emoticon

    I guess the point of this novel is, figure out why those clothes are there, why you are resisting the need to CELEBRATE your new health with lovely things to wear, and move beyond.

    You are too beautiful to hide in swaddling of cloth.

    P.S. As a culture, we celebrate with food (maybe I should say, as a species). As a gender, someone else's weight loss reminds us of our failures and lacks. It may be a combination of the two that is driving your friend. If she is worth the investment, be patient and love her unconditionally, and she'll be reassured that she is not diminished in your eyes. And you will be amply rewarded.
    4297 days ago
  • JHEARD7
    Im the same way with the clothes, i know i can probably fit a smaller size now. but i dont want to waste clothes, i dont want to get a smaller size spend money and not be able to fit it the next month. so im holding on, i dont know if its bad or not, but i know i am just being economical. i guess its how you look at it.

    and as for the buffet friend , i have learned to expect nothing from anyone. you'll find if you do you will get let down a whole lot!
    4297 days ago
  • no profile photo CD4114604
    If you can afford to buy some new outfits..RUN..do not walk..but RUN to your favorite Mall..or store and treat yourself to a couple or so new slimmer cute looking..clothes!! It will make you feel so good...and you already know you deserve it..after all you have come a long way..so out with the old..and in with the new..!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    4297 days ago
  • SWAZY33
    Belinda,
    I have the same problem with clothes. As I sit here at work, I am in clothes at least 2 (maybe 3) sizes too big. I will not leave my office much today because I don't want to run into many ppl in this baggy outfit. I knew it was a bad idea as I walked out the door this morning (wearing this) but, here I am. I have been putting clothes that are really way too big in a bag on my closet floor (I really should of put today's outfit in there!) and then will donate as it is almost filled! I'm happy about that, but, I feel the same way, that I don't want to go out and buy a new wardrobe when I still want to drop more pounds, but, I need to go get a few! Today!

    Also, I had a similar problem with a friend. She didn't invite me to a buffet, just stopped calling me after I lost about 35 pounds. I keep trying to reach out to her...but, so far, no luck.

    I wish you all the best in your journey to reaching your goals!
    You can do it and there will be many of us cheering you along the way!
    Karen
    4297 days ago
  • RUNNINGOMA
    I would definitely reward myself with something in a size that flatters me. But, if there are some "fat" clothes that I really like - I plan to take them in. (Good if you can sew) and cut off the excess material! If I wasn't too partial to the outfit - then give it away. Keep on set of "fat" clothes so you can take a picture of yourself in it later. Maybe your buffet friend will be able to fit into the pants with you and then see if she will comment!
    Ya, I know, I thought a lot more would comment on my loss, but I haven't heard it either. I have only lost about half of what you already lost. I don't get it either. But you know the truth, you know the work it took and you can be very proud of the accomplishments you have made.
    4297 days ago
  • 2BFREE2LIVE
    I agree get rid of the clothes that are to big, or you could find yourself feeling way to comfortable wearing them. emoticon You have worked hard to get rid of those pounds now it's time to get rid of the old clothes. You could share with friends who still wear that size or give them to goodwill etc... But do yourself a hugh justice and treat yourself to a few new pieces that you can wear in different ways to create new looks, Basic pieces go a long way, black pants or skirt, jacket and different colored tops make the outfit look different and use accessories to change up your look, Have fun and play dress up again. emoticon

    Your friend is obviously jealous of your wonderful progress. I would just flat out tell her your not interested in a buffet, that you prefer healthier foods. I know---the salad bar blah~blah~blah. Who can just eat a salad at a buffet after all it is all you can eat right? Find someone else to hang out with and just cut the umbilical cord with this one if she is so insensitive.
    The world is a big and beautiful place enjoy your space. Enjoy your life and feel and look great while doing so. Sandy
    4297 days ago
  • EMMABE1
    Yep - clothes are a problem - I have dropped 4 sizes and am wearing my far too big clothes until the end of our winter (4wks or so) Recently I got a very few new clothes for summer - picked them up really cheap in the sales in US - the styles are the type that will (I hope) shrink as I do since I have maybe 50kg more to lose yet!! I am going to try to get by on the minimum number of clothes each time I have to buy - and cheap ones too - except odd things like bras and step ins that HAVE to fit!!
    Some of my clothes will go to the dustbin, some to the Op shop (Salvos etc) but some are really good, brand new with tags still - those I will put in a garage sale sometime in the future - hopefully the money I get will go towards replacements.
    My friends haven't commented either - but I see one or two looking me up and down - I think they don't like to incase they are wrong and upset you!! Either that or they feel threatened by your efforts, wishing they had the guts to do it too!!
    That's my idea anyway, for what its worth.
    Good luck, keep healthy and remember how much better you feel now to before!!
    4297 days ago
  • TANYAHDG
    I have been having that dilemma myself. I finally got rid of some clothes. It has become a feel good thing; going through my closet seeing what is to big and what I can now fit. I find some things I have to buy so when I do I just try to spend as little as possible. I found some cute $10 shorts at Walmart. I guess they are REALLY cute cause I see them 4 or 5 times a day when I am out on the weekend LOL.

    As for your "friends". Some people have difficulty celebrating other's accomplishments, especially if its something they want for themselves (aka crabs in a barrel). Some are just saboteurs without even realizing it. We are so conditioned to celebrate with food that it comes natural. Whatever the case my be sometimes you have to call people on their stuff. It will either wake them up or move them out of your way!

    Keep It Movin'

    Tanya emoticon
    4297 days ago
  • VLECKB
    Okay my darling...

    First off...GET RID OF YOUR BIG CLOTHES!! Now...seriously...walk out the door and put them in the nearest donation bin or consignment store (do they have those in the states?? It's a big help to replenish the wardrobe without spending a fortune!)

    I have kept my big clothes before and sure enough it was too easy to put them back on over and over again. If you have to buy bigger sizes you are more likely to change and fight back!!

    I'm not saying buy for each size you've lost but at least every 3 sizes!! Buy a belt in the meantime!!!

    I too had the frustration last week of finding all of my old sizes on sale and the styles I liked. I swear that never used to happen!! Is everyone else losing too??? (truthfully I would hope so! Lord knows I've promoted spark people enough!!)

    As for the friend if she is not heavy...she just doesn't get it. They can't. My sister once told me that her way of keeping thin (she's 120 lbs bloated) is when she feels like eating cookies she grabs a handful of carrots first so she doesn't eat as many. As if! That's not why I was 140 lbs overweight. 1 or 2 cookies! It's the DOZENS I ate at a sitting!!)

    Now don't get me wrong. I believe that it's okay to treat yourself once in a while to a buffet or restaurant for a date or with friends as long as its just that MEAL not a buffet WEEKEND it's okay.

    In my past each time I deprive myself I don't last on what i do. I just get rebellious and frustrated. Doing everything in moderation is truly my motto.

    Dang, I'm writing a book.

    There's my input. Yep, shy and timid...that's me.

    XOXO Belinda
    4297 days ago
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