ok where do i begin..?
lately i have been a mess.im all over the place,and i couldnt figure out what my problem is..i know TOM gets me emotional..but this is more than that.
i have been racking my brain..almost ALL my life i have wanted to know why i am the way i am,why i feel the way i feel..finally last night i figured it out.
i always doubt myself..i always think the WORST.
the answer has always been right in front of my face,guess i just didnt want to say it out loud.
its that.."simply i am NOT enough"
i have a beautiful Husband who works non stop to make sure me,and our son get whatever we need.
he calls me all the time..dedicates LOVE songs to me.tells me how he feels about ME on a daily basis.
but yet i CONSTANTLY have doubts in the back of my mind..doubts that im worthless.that i dont deserve ANYTHING...why would anyone want me?
i can log onto Spark..give anyone advice..encourage my friends nonstop..
but when it comes to me I JUST CANT.i mean im doing ok with my weight loss.i just cant figure out why i can tell someone "they are worth it",but i cant tell myself..and more importantly i cant believe in ME.
so it all comes down to"IM NOT ENOUGH" and that hurts.
so im not sure where i go from here.i just know i needed to get this out.
i cant say its because of what i have been through..everyone has been through something.so i have no excuse.
people say "u cant love someone unless u love urself"
with me thats NOT true..sorry,but i have never loved myself,and i love my family like theres no tomorrow
ok so i know this blog wasnt about weight loss.i just needed to get this out..im not sure where i go from here..the only thing i know is that i want to feel better.
good night my Spark family,and god bless..Christina