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Thursday, September 10, 2009

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Ok so I am in a pickle.AND in need of some advice.
For those of you that read my previous blog you will know what I'm talking about.

We just came home from our vacation emoticona couple days ago.
Well Dakota is acting sooo WEIRD!!
He wants me to hold him CONSTANTLY.
If I'm standing he holds onto my hand,AND WONT LET GO! If I try to walk away from him he will start crying emoticon emoticonlike someone is trying to hurt him.
Wants me to hug him TIGHT while we are sitting..OR grabs onto my shirt,and WONT let go!
Bottom line..I dont know whats wrong with him.
I know he wanted to come home the whole time we were gone..BUT I cant figure this one out.
He keeps saying "BAD GUYS" over ,and over.
I have played the time away over ,and over in my mind,and he wasnt left alone with anyone but his grandma..AT least I'm pretty sure.
I know he would cry when "John" would walk in the room.
Just dont get it..
Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated.
Thanks so much.God Bless my Spark Family..Christina emoticon
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  • HELPER911
    It sounds like you need to check into this "john" a little further... was "john" with grandma the same time your son was?

    He wanted to come home because that is where he felt secure and safe. I do not think this is something to pass over, I definetly would be investigating further! Ask him if he is scared, and why.

    Don't panic though, this is overcomeable.

    Mom of eleven emoticon
    4266 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/11/2009 11:47:52 AM

    Even though he is only 2 years old, he picked up on what was going on. He needs extra reassurance right now, so just love him and comfort him. Also, I know that it is hard, but try not to talk about John in front of him. He needs extra reassurance that the world is o.k. and that the "bad guys" are gone and if you are talking to your mom or husband about John in front of him, he is probably scared that the bad guys are not gone. The weekend traumatized both of you and you will both need some time to get over it, so just love each other right now.

    emoticon Karen
    4266 days ago

    The other comments here have already given you good advice. I'm not sure what I can add but Dakota is trying to tell you he needs extra love and attention from Mommy right now. He is feeling insecure and I think hurt as well. Kids can really pick up on things even when we think they are too young to understand. John probably scared him and he is feeling insecure because of that. You know the old saying kids and dogs are great judges of character. To him John is a "bad guy" and I agree with another post that said John is disturbed. I encourage you to spend as much time as you can with Dakota right now and constantly reassure him that you love him and everything is okay. I also encourage you to be very up front and honest with your husband about all that was said to you and or Dakota when your husband was out of the room. He needs to know. You said you put up with it all for your husband since it's his family. He needs to know all that happened so that he can decide too if it's worth hurting Dakota to go and spend time with them. If it were my husband and I, we would not go back there until my husband had a long talk with them and told them that the kind of behavior from last time is not acceptable and if they can't be kind and loving to our kids then we won't visit. That's what we would do.

    You are a great Mom, and you love Dakota very much, listen to your instincts about how he is acting now and over what happened. He'll be okay just give it some time. That's my 2 cents worth.

    4266 days ago
    Our kids go through times of insecurity. They need stability. He may be feeling that right now. So, take some time for him, reassure him that everything is okay. You obviously can't dedicate every minute of the day to him, and that wouldn't be good either, so find a balance of taking that time and reassuring him and going on with your day. Maybe you can tell him you will hold him for 5 minutes but then you have something to do and will hold him again later. I think as time goes by the security will return.
    4266 days ago
    Wow, there are not enough words to tell you how disturbed I think "John" is. I can only imagine the amount of poison and bad vibes you all were hounded by.

    Please give Dakota the time he needs to feel secure. My daughter needed a lot of reassuring from time to time and I gave it to her. Keep an eye on him and give him several days to put that nasty man away.

    I would prevent "John" from being anywhere near Dakota again and share your concern with hubby. I know he is out of town a lot, but this will be important in your future decisions with Dakota and any further exposure to such an evil man.

    Christina - you are truly a good and loving mother and there are times in our lives with our little ones, and even as they get bigger, when we question ourselves as parents. We aren't perfect but the fact that we do have these questions shows how much we care and that we are always trying to be better parents.

    Hang in there my friend and I will keep you and Dakota in my thoughts and prayers.
    4266 days ago
    Maybe he heard and understood some of the comments or when your husband was angry he heard it or sense it.Kids sense our feeling many times and perceive them without clearly understanding.Ask him?
    Marta Nydia
    4266 days ago
    It sounds to me John must have hurt Dakota's feelings or maybe he just needs YOU!
    4266 days ago
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