Thursday, October 22, 2009
So... I haven't blogged in awhile. Honestly, I feel that I have so much to talk about but once I get down to it, my mind is blank.
Basically, what I have learned in the past month is that I cannot trust myself. That, is sad. I say I can handle something (i.e. having candy in the house), when I really can't.
I was getting through the weeks just fine; staying on plan because I had structure. Then, the weekends would come, I would get one nasty little "bad angel" thought, and find myself elbow-deep in a bag of Halloween Candy.
One night, I went out of my way on a cold, rainy night and drove to an 24-hour grocery store for hot pockets and cookies. I got to the store at 12:15AM...and it was closed. They had just changed their hours from 6am to 12am. Crazy, huh? It was my sign, and I admitted that, but I still blatantly ignored it. I went to a Royal Farms, bought my hot pockets and Entemann's Dounts (because, why not?). Meanwhile, 2100 calories later (yes, in one sitting) I was just as upset as before the adventure.
What feelings am I trying to drown out with food and where are they coming from???
The past two weeks have been soooo much better and last weekend, I made it through without a hitch - How exciting! However, I haven't lost any weight. I just can't seem to get past this 230.5 mark... It's driving me crazy. When things are not easy, I tend to give up.
Now, I have a birthday party, a wedding, and a huge family dinner to get through this weekend... I am afraid something is going to set me off...
Pray for me.