Correction: Who makes and EATS two dozen Oreo truffles when you're trying to lose weight?
That would be me.
So, now the question is why.
Over the last few months, I've had to come to terms with some of my issues. The biggest one being my relationship with food. I openly admitted two weeks ago that I am a binge eater. I've hidden it for years...the secret eating, the "smuggling" of food in my bag or purse so no one would see, and the excessive amounts of food that I would eat in one sitting.
Last week I had a breakdown. We were snowed in for an entire week and I ate enough food to gain 4lbs. When I stood on the scale, I began to cry. I could no longer see my goal or remember what it was like to feel good about myself. This feeling of defeat would typically send me straight to someone's drive-thru, ordering at $20 worth of fatty foods. But this time, I prayed.
I kept saying the Serenity prayer:
God grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, the courage to change things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
I believe in the power of prayer and as I looked up, I saw my book - The Spark. The book I've had for a month now that I hadn't read yet. So, there I sat on the floor, reading chapter after chapter, smearing pages with my tears, and realizing that there is a whole world out there with people like me. And there are so many success stories that proved that I too, could meet my goals.
So, that's what I did. I made new goals and reaffirmed my commitment to a healthier me. I had to admit some things that I didn't want to and seek help from those that I thought would judge me. I know that God has awesome things in store for me and is just waiting for me to get myself together.
With much prayer and encouragement, I feel like I'm moving in the right direction again. I know it will take a lot of work, but I CAN do it.
Thank you SparkPeople, SparkGuy, and SparkFamily!