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My Eyes Hurt..I've Had a Heartbreaking Day..

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

My day started out like no other..I was fine..I thought everything was fine.Little did I know that EVERYTHING was about to change.

I took a shower,when I get out I have 5 missed calls..I thought to myself..WOW I was only in the shower for 10 minutes.
My husband calls me,and tells me he needed to tell me something.I said,"Ok".
He tells me to sit down.He was SERIOUS.

He then tells me that my little sister who is 19 yrs old,and 23 weeks pregnant LOST her baby emoticon

On Sunday night my sister,and her husband go to the ER.She is having some stomach pains.Also hadn't felt the baby kick very much.
They COULD NOT find the baby's heartbeat!! emoticon
Ok so you would think they take her into do an ultrasound..NOPE!! They make her wait 2.5 HOURS!! WTF?? Are you kidding me??
Oh well they had to "ORDER IT"..WHATEVER!! A life is hanging in the balance you don't order SH!T!!
They told her the baby was fine.The ultrasound showed a heartbeat..My sister tried telling the Dr about her hands,and feet.The Dr looks at her hands.They are DOUBLE in size with red spots on them..He then tells her that it is NORMAL emoticon

Did not bother telling her it was SURE signs of Preclamsia (don't know if I spelled it right)

This morning when her Dr couldn't find a heartbeat..She sent my sister over to the hospital for an ultrasound..Which she did NOT have to wait for!!

The lady who did her ultrasound just looked at my sister.. emoticonAnd shook her head..Saying,"I'm so sorry.."
My sister was living in a NIGHTMARE.SCREAMING..CRYING.

So now she is in the hospital being induced..YES she has to give birth to her DEAD baby..I can't wrap my head around this..I want to choke the life out of the Dr that sent her home!! There is NOT one person on this earth that can tell me he was in the right to send my sister home..Even her nurse tonight kept asking well did the hospital do this..Or that..??BUT no,they did nothing.Told her she was fine..AND NORMAL!!

My heart is hurting so badly for my sister..BUT there is nothing I can do or say to help her..
Her baby's name is Brayden Lee.My poor sister has to plan his funeral.
I never thought my little sister would be planning a funeral for her baby emoticon

Some people might think I'm being too harsh when I write about that hospital..BUT I have been sent home from there..With antibiotics..Only within an hour my husband calls my previous surgeon to find out that I should have been rushed to MY hospital for emergency surgery.When I say MY hospital I mean where I had our son.

If you have a child..PLEASE no matter where they are or what age..Because lets be honest..It doesn't really matter how old they are.They WILL ALWAYS be "YOUR" baby.
Tell them you love them..And THANK GOD for your child EVERYDAY!!
Not everyone is as blessed to have a beautiful baby.

I lost my first baby..BUT I didn't have to give birth.I lost it at 7 weeks.My sisters pregnancy was half way over..
I'm heading back over there in the morning.Don't know how long this takes..
I just don't know what to say to her. emoticon

Thank you for reading..and for your prayers.God Bless my Spark family emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Im soryr to hear that. at 15 weeks i thought i was losing my son. i was bleeding alot but thank god he was fine. Sometimes its just the thing that God does to teach us. But probably in this case was negligence of the doctors. they should be sued or something. God bless,. this happens my mom lost one at almost 6 months, its not supposed to be easy at all.

    btw Brayden is a lovely name, its my sons name :( god bless agian and please give my condolences.
    3946 days ago
    I am so sorry to hear about your sister and her child. How horrible! I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. emoticon
    3948 days ago
    I cannot imagine going through this. A girl I work with lost her baby at 8 months and they told her she would have to wait until the following Monday to deliver it. Um, no way would I go home for a weekend with my dead baby still inside of me! Give your sister a hug from me.
    3948 days ago
  • DEE797
    emoticon and prayers for your sister and your family during this difficult time. I'm so sorry emoticon
    3948 days ago
  • BAMBAM87
    3949 days ago
    My thoughts and prayers are with your family emoticon
    3949 days ago
    our hearts and prayers go out to you and your family at this difficult time. there are no words to make the pain go away, but with love and time, the pain and anger will ease. God will make a way where there is no way.
    3949 days ago
    I am sooo sorry to hear of your loss. I have been on vacation and hadn't had the details until now. I am sitting here in my hotel room crying my eyes out for you and your family. with much sympathy... emoticon
    3950 days ago
  • no profile photo CD1665500
    (((Christina))) my heart just breaks for you. You have every reason to be harsh. Our hospitals, doctors and health system is so screwed up it is ridiculous. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
    3950 days ago
    My heart goes out to your sister. I lost my baby Emily Nicole at 38 weeks. I was 2 weeks from delivering, already home on maternity leave. I lost her due to preclampsia (spelling?) too. I know everyone hurts and heals differently and I don't presume to know her pain, but I have been though it and I am so sorry. I know what it is like to deliver your lifeless child, I know what it is like to call funeral homes for your baby and I wish I could take her pain away, even though I don't know her, just because I lived it.

    She may be quite different to you for some time. I think the best advice I can offer is be there when she is ready to talk about it (It took me weeks before I rationalized everything and was able to say a word to anyone about her), but again everyone heals differently.

    emoticon my thoughts are with you and your family.
    3951 days ago
    emoticon emoticon My heart goes out to your sister, to you and your family. Ditto what GRIT says below.
    3951 days ago
  • HARLEY437
    i`m so sorry for the lost of your sister`s baby and wish her and your family all my symphathies.. and hope God can give you and your family peace and understanding at this time.. I have had a lousy 2 days myself.. was suppose to head to western ohio yesterday.. but wednesday nite my youngest aunt, ( my mom`s youngest sister passed away unexpectly.. so had to councel my trip to be here for mymom.. .. so understand how you feel.. take care.. and God`s blessings
    3951 days ago
  • no profile photo CD7462245
    I'm so sorry for your sister and all of your family, including you. And yes, it's alright to be so angry at the doctor and hospital who basically ignored her needs and the needs of her unborn child. But sooner or later you need to take that anger energy and turn it into the love and support your sister is going to need moving forward. I pray that God reaches down and touches you and gives you the strength you need to be there for her at this time. Let God put His loving arms around you so that you can soak up all that love and pass it along to your sister. I'll also pray that she will have the courage to try again like you did. Children are such a blessing, and I'm sure some day she'll be a wonderful mommy.
    3951 days ago
    emoticon and prayers for you all... my deepest sympathies... emoticon
    3951 days ago
    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I will be praying for your family that God will give your sister peace and the comfort she needs.
    3951 days ago
    MUch hugs and prayers to all of your family, may God give you strength to get through it.
    3951 days ago
    wow, I am so sorry for yall's loss.My deepest sympathy and prayers go out to your sister and your entire family. I completely understand how hospitals can be so uncaring and just turn there back on you. I have had bad experiences with them myself. Again, yall are in my prayers. Just know Brayden lee is with the angels now and she will see him again oneday.
    3951 days ago
    Oh Christina, I am so sorry this happened. Please let us know what we can do to help you and your sister. I will pray for you and your family that you find strength and then peace to deal with this tragedy. My Mom lost my baby-brother (I was 1 at the time so I have no recollection) and still has trouble dealing with it - it never goes away, there will always be a hole in your sister's & your heart but in time it will hurt less and less. It is OK to be VERY angry with your sister's Hosp. & those other Doc & nurses.

    Be there for your sister, she needs you now more than ever.

    Take care and God Bless,
    3951 days ago
    I am so sorry, my prayers are with you all. emoticon emoticon
    3951 days ago
    I am so sorry and no words to take your hurt or your sister's hurt away. I will send up prayers for you and all of your family. I went through this with my sister's baby when she was 6 months along. My heart aches for you and your sister. All of you have a right to be angry at the doctor's and hospital. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3951 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/23/2010 3:34:14 PM
  • no profile photo CD4114604
    emoticon I am so sorry Christina emoticon
    3951 days ago
  • LJRW170
    I'm so sorry to hear this. I'll be praying for your sister and family. emoticon
    3951 days ago
    I'm sooo very sorry for your sister's loss. I'm at a loss for words. But I pray that God will reach down and touch you & your sister, give you all the peace that passes all understanding. May He wrap His arms of love & comfort around you both. Allow God to lead you through this time in your life allow him to speak through you to your sister. But most of all be there for her through this time. Be her shoulder to lean on & cry on. You don't always need to have words to say, just being there for her I'm sure will help immensely. Hang on to God through this time.

    3951 days ago
  • BAKER1009
    I'm so sorry to hear this. I'll keep you and your sister in my prayers. May God be with you during this difficult time.
    3951 days ago
    so sorry for your sister's loss...... i have had three heartbreaking miscarriages.. none that far along as your sister........

    and i was really in a bad way........

    i was suicidal........

    be there for her.. i know you will.. you sound like a very loving caring sister.....

    so sad for your whole family........

    i'm so sorry this happened to you all........

    3951 days ago
    Keeping your sister, her hubby, you and your whole family in my prayers. I'm so sorry...
    3951 days ago
    oh no this made me cry. that is so heartbreaking
    you and your whole family are in my prayers, just know your sister gained an angel
    3951 days ago
  • no profile photo CHOCMOM
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon to hear of this Christina. My heart goes out to you, Lula, your sister and all of your family.
    3951 days ago
  • -AMANDA79-
    emoticon I'm so sorry
    3951 days ago
    I am so sorry to hear this...Truly a tragedy. I send my heart, thought and prayers to you all. Just hold each other tight.. emoticon
    3951 days ago
    May God give strength and courage to your sister to go through this! I know how it feels. I lost a baby at 13 weeks of pregnancy and my best friend had to have an induced labor to a dead baby boy at 34 weeks! It's hard, it's shocking, it's unbearable. Hug your sister and let her cry in your arms when she needs it. Be there for her, it's the best you can do. She hurts and she will be hurting for a long time. I'll keep you both in my prayers.
    3952 days ago
    Tell your sister you love her. That's always the best thing you can tell anyone that's hurting.

    The doctor should be reviewed, that's for sure, and the attending ER staff should be reviewed as well.

    Best wishes to your entire family. Things always happen for a reason...it's just a real chore sometimes figuring out how and why things happen as they do.

    Take care.
    3952 days ago
    Christina, I am so sorry. I know all of you feel your hearts are breaking. I will be praying for you all. I have not lost a child, but I nearly lost my youngest a few times. She had heart problems detected prior to birth and so I went through the last 2 trimesters wondering and praying every day for her to make it.

    I pray the Lord's peace will fill you all and you feel His arms around you.
    3952 days ago
  • JCMON67
    emoticon You and your sister are in my prayers!

    3952 days ago
  • ANTONI56
    3952 days ago
    I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine what your sister, and all of your family, must be going through. emoticon
    3952 days ago
    Hi, I have been in your shoes. My sister has lost two children to birth defects Haileigh was 8 weeks and Hannah was 16. I was the oldest sister and my sister looked up to me. Read the words from, Margaredt SNOWFLAKELILYM9, she has been there.

    All I can tell you is listen to your sister's needs. She needs someone to hear her. Validate her feelings. You will find strength. When you can't, lean on someone that can be strong for you. I wish I could tell you it is easy but it is not. I wish I had magical words but I don't. I wish I could tell you why bad things happen to good people. If you need to talk to someone that knows what you are going through, don't hesitate, I am here.

    My heart is breaking for your family. I pray God will comfort all of you and give you all peace beyond understanding. I pray He will give you wisdom and strength.

    emoticon emoticon
    3952 days ago
    emoticon emoticon so so sorry....you guys will be in my prayers.
    3952 days ago
    I am so sorry.

    I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

    3952 days ago
    So sorry for your sister's and your pain. emoticon
    3952 days ago
    I'm sending my sincere, deep sympathy to you, your sister, and the rest of your family. May God comfort you and help you find ways to support your sister through this horrible time.
    3952 days ago
    This is by far the most saddest thing I have heard of how horrible! Some doctor's just don't care I think. My prayers are with you and your family tonight.
    3952 days ago
    My heart is broken for your sister and your family. I am sooo sorry. Please know I am thinking of you. emoticon
    3952 days ago
    Christina.. My dear lord you and your family will be in my prayers.. I am 27 weeks and I dealt with the same thing for a while during this pregnancy around the same weeks.. I AM FURIOUS RIGHT ALONG WITH YOU!there is no way in the world i will tell you that doctor was right..sounded just plain lazy.. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be strong for your sister.. this is devistating. You my friend please keep in touch and like always I am here for you and your family will be in my DAILY prayers during this time..

    I AM SO SORRY. for the loss in your family today. emoticon
    3952 days ago
    Dear Christina,

    I am so sorry for your sisters loss and your heatbreak for your sister. What a tender hearted loving sister you are!!! Almost 6 years ago my baby a girl died at 20 weeks. Her name is
    Lily Marian. It was 3 months after my Mom died of cancer. Her middle name is after my Mom. I wasn't feeling well and I called the Dr. and she said well just stay in bed over the weekend and come in on Monday. Well by Sunday night I was in all kinds of pain and had it all night. 6:00 Monday morning the pain stopped and I just knew she was gone. I went to the Dr. that morning and there was no heart beat. I also had to go into the hospital and be induced and delivered my baby. They just wanted to knock me out and take her. I said NO WAY. This is all I have, her labor and delivery. I want to feel every pain and hold her and then she has to be buried so get away with your drugs I am having this, it's all I have. So I know your sister's pain. Just be there for her. Hold her, cry with her, tell her you love her, tell her you know it hurts and that her baby is whole and in heaven and that some day the hurt will lessen but you never forget. I still cry on her birhday or whenever I see little blond haired blue eyed girls who are her age now. She looked exactly like my 8 year old who was 2 and 1/2 then. Lots of people said lots of very unkind things to me. Oh why are you so upset, be thankful for the 2 healthy ones you have and on and on. It happened in Idaho. We live in Maine. I was out traveling for work. My husband and kids were with me thankfully. Because my family never got to see her many have never talked about her even to this day like she is a real person who lived. We had to bury her in Idaho. They acted like she never existed. Only 1 or 2 remember her birthday each year. It hurts. She was and is a real person. I held her, I have pictures but no one wants to look at them. I'm just telling you this to say there is a lot of hurt that can happen from our "loved" ones in this so be there and protect her as much as possible. The hospital sent someone in to talk to me and they gave me literature to read about losing a baby and the steps of grief and it really really helped me. I still had a whole hard year afterwards but the I know a support group would really help your sister if she is interested and wants it. Let her take the lead.

    I'm praying for you all. It's the Drs. fault. This kind of stuff makes me so angry.

    Jesus never fails,
    Jesus never fails,
    Heaven and Earth may pass away,
    But, Jesus never fails.

    Love and hugs,
    3952 days ago
    So, so, sorry to hear this.
    3952 days ago
  • TINA48R
    I am so sorry to hear this about your sister & her baby Christina my heart goes out to them..I know how your feeling, 24 years ago my sister lost her first baby, she was 8 month's pregnant when she lost her's..We all got to hold him before they took him away,he was so beautiful...We blame the dr for her losing her baby too,her water had broke and the Stupid Dr said that it wasn't her water they said that the baby was laying her her bladder so they sent her home..She started having problems so she went back and they sent her to the Hosp and they told her that the baby was dead...I think Dr's don't know what they are doing sometimes they just care about the money and nothing more...

    My sister has 2 other kids since then, Shane is 23 and Jessica is 18 and my sister still thinks and cries for her first born..
    So my Heart goes out to your sister and your family emoticon ,God Bless you all..
    3952 days ago
  • no profile photo CD3598327
    Christina, I'm so very sorry for your losses! I'm sending big bear hugs your way! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    3952 days ago
    I am so sorry for your sister's pain and loss and the loss and pain that your entire family is experiencing. I cannot even imagine how difficult this must be. A tiny life taken before it was lived is so sad. I am offering my prayers for all of you - know that this tiny life is being gently cared for in a better world and that all of you are in loving hands in this world as well. emoticon emoticon
    3952 days ago
  • SPARKIE1964
    My heart is aching for your sister & I feel your pain. I am praying for your family during this incredibly difficult time...

    3952 days ago
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