NEDERLUNG

SparkPoints
 

It's all about me!

Friday, July 23, 2010

Yes, me me me me me me me me me

We have to learn to love ourselves, yes, but I've noticed that when I'm replying to the blogs of my sparkfriends or leaving messages on their pages, I always turn the topic back to me. Is that selfish?

I'm trying not to do that, I'm trying to be more supportive of others and appreciate their accomplishments; the way they are congratulating me and giving me credit for my acheivements without turning the topic back to them. Isn't this true support?

Why might you ask have I choosen this topic? Well, this morning I realized that I was reading another blog and that sparker was going on and on and on about their wonderful accomplishments. Kudos to them and all the other sparkers who left even more kudos. Then I checked the feed of that sparker to see what kind of support they gave to others. NONE! Three pages in and still no support returned to all those wonderful sparkers who had given their support, only to receive nothing in return (truly an unselfish act!)

Yes, I too want all the attention. But I am here vowing to attempt to support my fellow sparkfriends in their journeys and not make their journey about me (unless my experience might help them through a hurdle in some way).

Love you all, for you are the one who must take the credits for your accomplishments. I am here to recognize those efforts and reinforce your determination to stay with the healthier lifestyle! You go Sparkers!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • NEDERLUNG
    Thank you for all the comments on this blog. The 'me, me, me, me" was written out of my own guilt. Guilt that I haven't been as supportive as I could be, fear that I was turning every conversation with you back to me (thus 'it's all about me').

    Many of you have shared that that is OK with you, but I still feel a little guilty not being more attentive to the details of your needs such as last weeks delemma verses this weeks accomplishment (or visaversa).

    And I still vow to be more supportive AND to keep it personal for you (not cookie cutter), AND I will share myself and experiences, but in an attempt at not making it all about ME.

    Dear Sparkfriends, still loving you all - thanks!
    3943 days ago
  • CAROLANDRA
    This is actually a great topic. More complex than might meet the eye. In defense of people who aren't born cheerleaders, that doesn't mean they're not supportive. I prefer sincere and honest feedback to cookie-cutter support. But if I don't know the person I'm trying to support, I fear I'll come off as too generic aka insincere. It's all projection, I suppose, but I don't appreciate drive-by thata-girls, so I don't do that to others. I'm more inclined to send a personal SparkMail... which, undoubtedly, others do, too... thus (perhaps) the absence of support tracks.

    As for the me-me-me practice of turning every issue back to oneself, we all only know life from our own experiences. I feel that if you can relate to a problem or a triumph that a Spark teammember wrote about, it's pretty natural to say "I know what you mean... why, just the other day I.... blah blah blah". It's a way to relate to one another. I don't know... but I enjoy it when people say they can relate to some feeling or experience I've posted. It makes me feel less freakish, I guess... not alone... validated.

    And my last defense is this... I'm admittedly SparkPeople challenged. I've wondered how on Earth some of my SparkFriends know every step I take. Just the other day I stumbled upon... cripes... I can't even bring to mind what it's called... that thing... what's it called... a Feed? I hope that's it. In any case, some folks don't know much more about SP than to log their food, activity and post a blog. I'm a little more savvy than that... but not much.

    Anyway, N... great topic! Great food for thought. Thanks!
    3944 days ago
  • 2BEATIT1
    Most of your thoughts are well taken, along with those who responded to your blog. I am guilty sometimes of sharing back something that helped me. However, my goal is to encourage that person.
    Some people are takers and others are givers. It is nice when wh can have a balance of both attributes.

    emoticon
    3944 days ago
  • MADEMCHE
    Awesome attitude and a a great reminder to spread the love as it will come back to us! Good for you!
    3944 days ago
  • HEALTHYASHLEY
    I have noticed I have a few friends who I support and it isn't returned and I just focus my attention on the people who also offer it to me. Part of journey is to stop being so judgmental and negative. I hope I am getting better at that :).
    3944 days ago
  • MAMADWARF
    First of all, you are NEVER selfish! You have been one of my biggest supporters from the start tand I value every word you share. I think adding your experiences when talking to someone is just normal! It makes us all relatable and sometimes, helps someone else by trying what worked for you.

    Support,especially mutual support, have TOTALLY transformed my journey and supporting other people adds alot of joy to my life. I love getting to know people and it makes me happy to have made someone laugh or to brighten their day.

    That is why I love spark sooo much. Interacing has made me successful and invested.

    You are an amazing spark friend! Dont change!I am glad we found each other on here!
    3944 days ago
  • RANDYNWV
    I agree with most everyone.

    I think we share our experience strength and hope as we get better.

    one of my favorite things is ---

    TOGETHER WE CAN DO WHAT WE COULD NEVER DO ALONE

    I love it when someone shares about themselves in a blog comment, page comment or goodie.
    3944 days ago
  • SPALM01
    I agree that Sparkpeople works because of the support from the community. I'm motivated everyday by the people who not only wish we well, but the people that post their blogs and are so willing to open up and trust the people on here. I will say (in defense of the "person" discussed) they their are people who may not trust the community on here yet and have turned off their spark feed so other's can't view it, which is an option.
    3944 days ago
  • BALLOUZOO
    I think (see?! me me me) that we are sharing this wellness journey together and noticing (and commenting on) the things we can relate to. It's so nice to know we are not alone.
    3944 days ago
  • MOMMA_LITTLE
    I was just thinking... maybe that Sparkperson sends goodies that don't show up on a friend feed (do they?) I'm just wondering about this because I hardly ever have a chance to comment via the friend feed, but I reply to blogs and walls and goodies, not friend feed. Irregardless, your point is VERY MUCH on the mark! A person will be encouraging themselves when they encourage others! emoticon emoticon
    3944 days ago
  • KEEKEE1ST
    You go girl! You can do this! If it to be, it up to you! and only you! Keep that great attitude!
    hugs,
    Candy
    3944 days ago
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