Not a Bright and Bouncy Blog - Sorry!

Thursday, February 03, 2011

This year so far, it seems like I am perpetually digging out from something, not making progress like I was last year. It’s hard maintaining!

I got to within 4 lb. of my goal weight last Fall, and since then I have gained 6 pounds. Now I have 10 to lose. Sigh.

And stuff that makes me go backwards can happen in just a few days. Eternal vigilance really is the price of success. This weight will not stay off by itself.

Case in point:

A week ago Monday, everything was looking as bright as possible. A bit of bloating because TOM is coming, but hey, what else is new. (note to the Universe: I want menopause for my birthday…please???)

Went to the gym, had a great leg workout. After I got home, my back started hurting. I guess I overdid it a bit. That happens too. Normally, I am fine the next day.

At the same time, sonny boy came home with a cold, which after fighting for a few days, I finally got. I don’t get colds anymore, thankfully, unless someone brings one home and repeatedly inoculates me with it.

Then for some reason my PMS kicked into high gear. I was blowing up like a balloon and had the most intense food cravings. I mean like big time. Carbs, sweets, alcohol, you name it, if it’s not on the eating plan, I want it.

So that was Tuesday to Friday. Fighting the cold, fighting the urge to eat, and forcing myself to get work done through my aching back. Finally Friday, forget it, I’m done. I’m sick. To bed I go.

So I am in bed out of it big time all weekend. When I get a cold, I don’t fool around. I can’t think clearly at all. I have no energy and all I can do is lay there. And eat (feed a cold, right?) So laying around, my back is feeling much better, I guess I am so distracted with all the other complaints I don’t feel it.

There’s one week completely shot. Food, out the window. Exercise, are you kidding me??

So Monday I am feeling like I can breathe and function again, and WHAMMO! here comes the back pain again, so severe I can barely move around. Getting out of a chair – pure torture. And the weather is glorious, sunny, even halfway warm, so I want to potter around outside. No way. Humph.

Wednesday I was able to do a bit of my daughter’s Just Dance 2 game. (Side note: that game is really, really fun, get it if you have a Wii). I was mostly moving my arms about; trying not to move my trunk so as not to make things worse. But at least it was something.

Today I will see how I feel after I get my work done. I might pop in to the gym, just to make an appearance and get back into the groove.

Not working out for almost 2 weeks is really killing me. I can see the return of my old ways on the horizon. The habits that got me fat in the first place – eating all the time, not moving, drinking liquid libations every night….oh, yeah, we all know well that worked. Ugh.

So I’m examining my motives – did I throw in the towel and purposely sabotage myself??

Honestly, I don’t think so. Well, I guess I could have stayed home from the gym and locked my son out of the house (kidding, I’m kidding!). And as for the cravings – I get them once in a while, and I confess I haven’t figured out how to deal with them yet. They are hormonal in nature, and not usually that bad. Generally I just roll with them, go over my calories for a couple days and live with it. This time, what can I say, a lot worse.

Now it’s hard for me to get back on the wagon. Some foods that I normally eat just seem yucky right now. I’m still craving the comfort food.

Okay, I read this over, and I am depressing myself reading it. I guess we are supposed to be uplifting and always look on the bright side of things, but the truth is the truth. Maybe next time it will be sunshine and bubbles...I hope so.

Thanks for listening to me whine. I love my Spark community!!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    'm the same way when I'm sick. I want carby comfort foods. being sick sucks. I'm glad you are improving.
    3796 days ago
    Hi Angelika, I just wanted to stop by and say I am feeling your pain. I have a very tender side muscle, which hurts when I even try to do floor exercises. Darn side planks. I am glad you are seeing a chiropractor. I have been glued back together time after time by a great fellow in my town. He helped me after I was badly injured running, and falling over one of my dogs:-) My left leg had a torn muscle deep inside, just under the left butt muscle. My foot dragged for weeks, but the doc got me back in shape. I think sometimes we end up with minor injuries, which end up a bigger issue from walking off balanced, as you say. Hang in there. You will come though this!! And when You do, you will be even stronger:-) Sending you a big big ((((((((((HUG)))))) dIANA emoticon
    3809 days ago
    Thanks for the comment on my blog -- I'll check out the adrenal exhaustion tip.

    Congratulations on your weight loss & fitness! You're a good example that over 40 we don't have to 'let ourselves go.' You look great and all of your hard work shows!

    I appreciate your blog because I don't think there is a written rule anywhere that we always have to be uplifting on Spark. You've done such a good job and admit that there will be inevitable ups and downs along the way. That's life, but it always seems that at some point the sun starts shining again and the bad stuff seems to evaporate.

    I think you're doing great and would give my right leg to be where you are! lol


    I'll subscribe to your blog.
    3821 days ago
    I'm sorry you are struggling! I'm sorry I've been out of the loop too and missed your blog until today! You have done amazing things this year and I know you will get right back there as soon as you are able! Please don't push yourself too fast so you don't do more to hurt your back! Rest while you need to, get to full strength and then tackle those incredible work outs of yours!! Probably the reason this TOM is worse is you aren't working out making those cravings harder to control! You'll be just fine! Hugs to you my friend!! You are ALWAYS here for us when we need you, we can be the same for you!!
    3824 days ago
    I don't think you are whining, there are truly times when the " s&^t hits the fan" in my life too. I have been out of sorts lately too, exercise, hardly. Food, my fridge needs a padlock. But we have got to keep on living, after all I AM. Alive that is. We get over the rough patches and we keep on living, until the next one. But when it is good, revel in it and when it is bad, recognize it. Name IT for what IT is, but don't allow that name to become a label for ourselves. I'm still working on this concept myself.
    3824 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5402089
    oh becareful what you ask for..... I ahve been in meno since age 35 and well thats when the weight problems REALLY began.
    3827 days ago
    emoticon I truly believe that TTOY (This time of year) has a lot to do with your feelings. Winter is so hard on those of us who live in this part of the world - now, combine that with illness, your back, TOM! You are super but you are not superwoman. Please give yourself a little break. You'll get back on a roll. We just need some longer days with sunshine ... the darkness will retreat. Hang in there! You are amazing!
    3828 days ago

    Comment edited on: 2/4/2011 12:06:06 AM
    "Eternal vigilance really is the price of success": that's something I have to try and teach myself over and over again. Don't like it but there it is!!

    Cravings . . . another big problem. I'm hoping my Beck program will help me get a better handle on them, and I think it is!!
    3828 days ago
    Aaah, to be perfect ALL of the time. That just doesn't happen. You'll get back into the groove in no time. Glad you came here to vent your frustrations. So sorry to hear about your back pain. I can totally relate. Have you ever tried muscle relaxants and a heating pad? My partner prefers muscle relaxants and a shot of scotch!
    emoticon emoticon
    3828 days ago
  • no profile photo CD6500201
    You blog it out and we'll come to support you -- That's what we're here for! :)

    It's a crazy cycle you got going there.. I can relate with TOM.. Just when it ends and I get going good again, WHAM! TOM is back. Poo. I hope that everything will find it's balance and that you are back to 100% soon. Maybe see a doc? Pinched nerve?

    Feel better soon! Chin up and try to stay positive.

    "Focus on what you can do and not what you can't do" -- The Doctors tv show :)
    3828 days ago
    Awww sweetness.... it's okay. It's the coldest time of the year and you're just not cut out for this. The three months from Halloween to Ground Hog's day are the darkest 12 weeks of the year. Plateauing, even back sliding a bit during these dark months is so human. Your body wants to grow a little fluffier for winter. Your body wants to conserve energy "just in case." It is the time of hibernation and incubation, of crystalline inertia and inward growth.

    Not progressing is not failure. Your body has been taking these months to adjust to where you are now. It has been getting used to "this is how my body is". I think it is very wise of your body to take this time to grow into itself before spring will naturally bring so much more movement and less winter-defying hunger.

    Get a little sunshine, even if it is just sitting on the couch in a sunbeam. Be sweet to yourself, forgive yourself a little. Spring will be here soon and it's gonna be fantastic! I promise.

    3828 days ago
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